


White Tulips

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-05
Updated: 2007-03-02
Packaged: 2019-01-19 20:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12417117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: "My mum used to say that magic made my eyes sparkle and that it filled me to the core and erupted onto the page in bursts of magic wands and fire-breathing dragons."  Despite my six-year tenure in the Wizarding world, I'm only just learning that there's more to magic than magic wands and fairy tale creatures; namely, James Potter. ...





	1. White Tulips and Autumn Colours

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Disclaimer:  I only own the plot and the characters that you don’t recognize.  I’m not making money for this story, and I don’t intend on stealing credit from Ms. J.K. Rowling.

 

Chapter One: White Tulips and Autumn Colors  
 _(Chapter’s Song: ‘Somewhere Only We Know’ by Keane)_

 

I sat in the cool, autumn air, idly twirling my pen in my hand as I contemplated the latest situation that life has thrown at me.  Merely minutes ago, I had left the stuffy library after a tedious Prefect meeting with my feathers slightly ruffled and my nerves were rather on edge, a turmoil of emotions bubbling beneath the surface.

Well, it’s not really a _situation_ of sorts.  More like an obstacle to overcome.  You see, Remus Lupin, my cohort if you will–mostly because he’s the other Gryffindor Prefect–had told me that James Potter wants to talk to me.  It may not seem like the worst scenario that you can get yourself into (especially since James is practically Hogwarts royalty), but whenever James and I _plan_ on having a discussion… well, it never really ends pleasantly with both parties calm and at peace.  I vaguely recall James ending up covered from head to toe with some unknown substance that must’ve been invented from my mad dash to hex him after one of our ‘planned encounters’.  As a result, it stayed in his hair for days and the absolutely horrid smell for even longer.  But this was back in third year.  We’ve gotten more inventive as the years got on.

On the other hand, whenever we happen to stumble into each other in the common room… well, that’s a completely different story.  But that’s something that we’ll get to later on.

So anyway, Remus had told me that James wanted to talk to me.  Naturally, I was a little shocked to hear this, because everyone, and I mean _everyone,_ knows that something almost always goes wrong by the end of our little meetings.  I think that if I really thought about it, I could count the number of civil conversations between James and myself on one hand.  I have to confess that the disasters are mostly all on my part, so I took the opportunity to suggest meeting in the stands at the Quidditch pitch instead of the couches in the common room, since I find the pitch to be more neutral ground.  Plus there’s the added bonus of not having anyone there to witness a fight, which is an occurrence that is completely possible.

For various reasons, the Quidditch pitch has always been a place that I go to when I need peace.  For one, the view of the Forbidden Forest from here is absolutely breathtaking.  There are treetops as far as the eye can see and occasionally a flock of birds take flight.  The Forest has always been my favourite during the fall and winter.  During the autumnal months, the trees blaze vibrant shades of red, yellow, gold and orange, making the Forest appear to be on fire as the leaves slowly succumb to nature’s course.  If everything was really quiet and you listened hard enough, sometimes a zephyr from the trees would bring with it the faint ethereal melodies of the centaurs’ flutes.

When I first discovered this perch, I heard the centaurs’ music and I was completely enraptured.  The notes that they played were filled with the secrets of ageless wisdom that sent inspiration and awe through my veins while I became enchanted by its spell.  You see, I’ve always considered myself as a romantic and more importantly, an artist.  I’ve been known to draw portraits that shockingly resemble my subject, but my main foil is writing.  Ever since I was little, I would write small short stories about whatever tickled my fancy.  At first, it was stories about princesses and knights and ogres and fairy godmothers and all of them fairytale folk because I was fascinated with the idea of magic, with the concept of being able to make something spectacular happen just because you willed it.  My mum used to say that magic made my eyes sparkle and that it filled me to the core and erupted onto the page in bursts of magic wands and fire-breathing dragons (ironic how that turned out, eh?).  But as I grew older, I began to focus on writing about _life_ and music and romance.  The centaurs’ music was actually the subject of my very first story here at Hogwarts and it’s one of my best pieces yet.  Hogwarts gave my life a breath of fresh air, taking me away from all the worries at home…

Ah, and here he is now.  James Potter.  An extensive list of adjectives and nouns will never be able to portray the whirlwind of thought and energy and that that boy radiates.   Every idea is a prank to be carried out, every sound must be turned into laughter, and every person a tool in his Great Plan.

“Hello, Lily Flower,”� said James, climbing the stairs two at a time and seating his body next to mine.

“Hullo, James,”� I said, marking my page in my notebook.  I cocked my head to the side and looked at him.  “What can I do for you today?”�

“Well,”� said James, stretching his legs out in front him, which happen to be remarkably long, athletic legs.  “I wanted to ask a favor from you.”�

“Oh?  And what’s that?”�

“I want us to get along this year, Lily,”� said James, looking up into my eyes.  “We’re already sixth years and we’ve barely had any notable conversations.  I want to change that.

I blinked at him stupidly, not really registering what he’s implying.

“In other words, I want to be _friends_.”�

I frowned at him, openly showing my confusion.  “But we _are_ friends, James.  What are you talking about?”�

James sighed.  “No Lily, we’re acquaintances.  That’s something different.”�

“Well then, I guess that that means that I have to tell you about myself, doesn’t it?”� I said wryly.  “I’m Lily Marie Evans, born on March 24, 1964.  I’m addicted to cheesecake, writing is my passion and my friends like to party like it’s 1999.”�

“Well, that’s a start,”� grinned James.

I looked at him intently for a moment, searching for something in his eyes as a thought suddenly sprang up in my mind.  “Why are you doing this?  Did you just wake up this morning and go, ‘Oh, hey, I should go find Lily Evans today and impress her with a remarkable show of civility,’ or something?”�

James quirked an eyebrow.  “ _Am_ I impressing you with a ‘remarkable show of civility’?  Because honestly, Lily, I’m not trying to do anything like that.  It’s just natural,”� he said and grinned at me cheekily as he ruffled his hair.  Seems like old habits die hard.

I rolled my eyes.  “No, Potter.  I was just trying to make a point.  But really, why are you doing this?”�

“What?  Trying to be your friend?  Well, for one, you’ve always struck me as a person worth knowing.  Remus comes back from patrols with a smirk on his face because of something you said or did.  Georgina raves about you and Kate von Strassberg at practices, always babbling on and on about something that the three of you did or are planning to do.  The general consensus seems to show that you, Lily, are a pretty amazing person.  And for another, I don’t intend on having the limb dismemberment scenario repeat itself.”�

Oh right.  I had forgotten about that.  I felt the blood rush into my ears and neck as I blushed uncomfortably.  “Sorry,”� I quickly muttered with a careless laugh.

James shrugged.  “It was my fault.  I was being a prat.  Anyway, Lily Flower, I have to go,”� said James, getting up.  He conjured a perfect white tulip, my favorite flower and handed it to me.  He kissed my cheek and went down the stairs to exit the pitch.

“Oh and by the way,”� said James, turning around halfway down the stairs.  “When I woke up this morning, my first thought was, ‘Oh, hey, I should go and find Lily Evans today, that brilliant sophisticated witch and talk to her for once because she’s absolutely _spiffing_.”�  With a wink and a flippant wave, James exited the pitch.

I rolled my eyes at James’s display, but nevertheless smiled because of his gesture of friendship, of his unique way of offering me the olive branch.  I mean, you have to admit, the boy’s got style, as well as a way of mixing the proper words and the accompanying body language to lure someone into his captivating personality.  Plus that kiss on the cheek helped to seal the deal on our brand new friendship.  My cheek tingled where his lips brushed my skin and I was kind of dazzled by it.  Like a deer caught in the headlights.  You see, James has always been a rather touchy-feely person and he’s propositioned me numerous times for the vast majority of fifth year, but he’s never actually outright kissed me.  For some reason, it caught me completely off guard and I began to feel a little bit dizzy.

I clutched the flower to my chest and touched my cheek with my fingers as the flutter of his lips against my skin was whisked away by the breeze.  I put the tulip on the seat next to me and looked down at my lap at the invitingly blank page, waiting for me to fill it with some new tale.

I looked at the tulip and thought for a moment, and then began writing.

…..  
 _And if you have a minute, why don’t we go_  
 _Talk about it somewhere only we know_  
This could be the end of everything  
So why don’t we go somewhere only we know?   
…..

A/n:  As you may have noticed, the story’s in Lily’s point of view, detailing her life, her thoughts, and everything.  As you might also have noticed, the timeline’s a bit skewed, but I’ll just say that I’m putting my story into the ‘slightly AU category’.  Also, major thank you to Kristin, my new beta reader, and to Miranda, for reading the newly revised chapter one as well, and for flooding my inbox with reviews for the story.  Hee.  Anyway, each chapter will have an accompanying song, which I think fits the mood of the latest installment.  I hope that you enjoyed and please review!

 _For the old timers:_   Firstly, hallo!  Yay!  _White Tulips_ now has a permanent home.  So very excited.  Anyway, as you can see from this chapter, I’ve changed some things around, adding sentences here and changing words there.  Basically, the entire story’s pretty much revamped (but nothing too drastic–most of the original stuff’s still there), hopefully to make it better than before.  So yeah.  I’ll probably update like once a week or something until we’re up to speed and maybe post a couple of chapter twelve teasers on my El Jay every now and then.  Oh, and reviews would make me smile.  Or send me into a rage blackout.  Whatever’s your preference.

xox,  
Mands


	2. About the Author

Chapter Two: About the Author  
 _(Chapter’s Song: ‘Princess’ by Matt Nathanson)_

 

I guess that before I continue telling my story, you’d have to know a couple of important things about the star of it, namely me.

So, like I said before, my name is Lily Marie Evans and it all started 16 years ago on March 24th, 1964.  My mother, Elizabeth actually went through an easy birth.  She was only in labor for three hours, which was like a millisecond compared to when she birthed my older sister, Petunia.  She was in labor with my sister for a whopping 29 hours so you see, even from the beginning, my sister was a bitch.

Anyway, my mother was a lady.  A _true_ lady, lineage and all.  Her father had been a Lord and his before him, and actually, my father’s one as well.  My mother, Elizabeth Coates-Evans had all the grace, beauty and composure as the Queen, if not more.  Despite the importance of my family’s status, Mum raised Petunia and I with values such as being humble, no matter what your pedigree is.  While I never had to wash the dishes, clean my room or do the laundry, I had little chores to do and my mother always saw to it that they were completed before I could run off and play with my dolls.  I wasn’t raised like a little princess, as it was Mum’s adamant belief that if Petunia and I _were_ raised as such, we’d be as insufferable as those snooty high society ladies that our family hates so much.

Mum had a passion for flowers.  I guess that it’s obvious considering the names that she gave her daughters (she even used to call us her Little Garden), but flowers were one of the things that made her world go round.  Her rose garden was featured in several national home and garden magazines a number of times and her tulips grew in such abundance that even when they got to their sagging point and their petals began to fall off, they were still beautiful.  Every room in our house always has a vase or two of flowers.  Mum insisted that they give a room life and colour.  In some ways, Mum’s penchant for flowers was what sparked my interest in art.  She’d encourage me to try drawing them and even had teachers come in when I was little to hone and sharpen my skills as a painter.

But my passion for writing and music came from my father

My father is an exceptional pianist and he extended his love for music to his two daughters.  While my mum insisted on the ever-there presence of flowers, my father insisted on always having music playing wherever he was.  When we were eating dinner, when we were reading and especially when he was in his study, we’d be listening to Mozart’s concertos or Handel’s arias.  He believed, and still does, that music is what keeps you young–that music is the language of the soul, allowing people to express their innermost thoughts through the strings of a violin or the chords of a piano.  I can’t even begin to count the number of times that Dad had spontaneously pulled any of his family up to join him in a waltz or the number of times that I’d caught my parents lovingly dancing cheek-to-cheek in any room of the house.

As for his writing, well, that’s one of the ways that he makes a living.  His official job is dealing with international affairs between England and other countries (I guess that you would call him a diplomat, but it’s a little more complicated than that), but in his spare time he writes novels.  He’s written novels about the French revolution, or a lovelorn Spaniard, or an Englishman’s journey to unlock the secrets of his past.  He’s even written children’s books, but those were just for the enjoyment of Petunia and I.

Anyway, if you haven’t been able to tell by now, my family is my backbone; they’re what helps me keep my head held high.  Of course, there’s Petunia who would rather marry a toad than consort with the likes of me, but that’s beside the point.  What _is_ important, however, is the fact that my parents couldn’t have been more proud when I received my Hogwarts letter at the breakfast table.  It didn’t matter that my mother’s plans to send me to the finest school England could offer were crushed; we had a _witch_ in the family and there was nothing more exceptional than that.  My parents were always there with a shoulder to cry on when I came home from the holidays and I was homesick, or to remind me that Petunia’s bitter words shouldn’t have an effect on me because she just doesn’t understand what I am and because she misses me.

Unfortunately, my mother, my idol and hero was savagely ripped away from our close-knit family.  When I was barely 12 years old, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and it had quickly spread to her lungs and kidneys.  Her once lively health rapidly deteriorated, leaving my mother’s beautiful body an empty shell.  I was at Hogwarts when it finally happened, when my mother left the world ten months after the diagnosis.  Professor Dumbledore was sympathetic enough to let me return home for a week to help my family sort things out and deal with my grief.  My friends also helped me through that time and if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be the way I am today.

My best, closest friend is Kate von Strassberg, a fellow Muggleborn Gryffindor with a sweet disposition and a passion for romance that rivals my own.  She’s one of the only people that can zap me out of a bad mood just like that.  When I was down after my mother’s death, Kate rose magnificently to the challenge of consoling me and helping me with my grief.  She helped me to see the silver lining and to brighten up, reminding me about the better and brighter side of life.

My other best friend is Georgina Vance, but we like to call her Georgie.  Unlike Kate and myself, Georgie comes from a Wizarding family, so she’s more worldly and knowledgeable in the ways of magic, especially when you compared her to us two idiots.  Georgie is one of those people who is never _ever_ down in life.  She’s always laughing about something and she always has to be moving.  You can’t even begin to imagine how many times Georgie’s been reprimanded in class for squirming too much.  Especially in History of Magic, but it’s not like Binns ever noticed–the old codger was always buried in his notes.

Kate and Georgie together made it clear to me that if I was going to wallow in self-pity after Mum died, they were going to throw me into a tub full of ice cold water with massive, large, ugly, hairy spiders crawling about and we once came very near to doing just that.  I still shiver at the memory of seeing that tub.  You see, I have _terrible_ arachnophobia.

Anyway, I think that I might have dallied long enough and it’s time to talk about _myself_ and not my family and friends.

I guess you can say that I’ve had myself figured out since I was twelve.  After my beloved mother died, I had spent a lot of time on my own, pondering the things in life.  It was difficult as a twelve year old to understand that I’d never see my mother again: that I’d never again receive a loving hug or a good night kiss.  After her death, I spent a considerable amount of time by myself, just thinking.  I remember thinking about how certain things are never meant to last.  How things that are so beautiful and so full of life just aren’t meant to exist forever.  It was crushing, it was ugly, and it was the truth.  The truth that I learned and accepted on the brink of adolescence in a world that I barely knew.

In retrospect, I realise how those moments of solitude helped me understand myself, which was a daunting task for a severely confused girl, especially one who was in between being a child and being a teenager.  But it was in those moments, when I reflected on the discontinuity of life, that I realised that I found out who I am, and since then, I’ve been able to add to my personal description as the years went on and things happened that made me learn more about myself.

One of the things that I can tell you without hesitation is that I’m a hopeless romantic.  I was raised in a household with parents who are/were over-the-moon in love with each other and I constantly had a Jane Austen book in my hand.  You don’t know how it tore me to pieces when Elizabeth Bennet first said no to Mr. Darcy and my stomach was twisted in knots as she read the contents of his letter.  Anyway, that’s beside the point.  I jump at any opportunity and chance at experiencing romance first-hand, but so far true love has avoided me.  I’ve learned that I can be a little _too_ trusting sometimes, which has led me to sticky situations on more occasions than one.  You see, I’m one of those poor unfortunate souls who doesn’t really think before diving into something, trusting the person that I’m with with a trust so complete that I never suspect that they would have ulterior motives or that they were just the _wrong_ type of person for me.  I always create this image of the current boyfriend for myself, putting that special person up on a golden pedestal, trying to make them happy even if I, myself, am miserable.

You know, I realise that it may seem very strange to think that me, a girl of sixteen years, has herself so figured out.  I can only respond by saying that when you live in a world so full of deceit and lies, the very least that you can do is to figure out who _you_ yourself is.  I figure that it’s one of my contributions to society.  By me knowing exactly who I am, I’m one less person who has to take a major detour in life just to figure out what I want.  I also just happen to be the type of person who likes to think a lot and I’ve had more than enough time and painful experiences to make myself pause and wonder why certain things happen to me, or what it is that makes me _me._

The sound of voices floated up to the stands and the Hufflepuff Quidditch team trooped onto the field.  Must be getting on in the day since the teams usually practice right before dinner.  I put my pen and my sketch of the Quidditch pitch away and began to exit the stands, tossing out a few hellos and how do you do’s to various members of the team as I passed.

Anyway, another thing about me is that I’m either overly passionate about something, or just too jaded to care and thus look at things with a blasé attitude.  It’s almost like I’m bipolar, except that instead of me being either depressed or happy, I either care a lot or don’t care at all.  It’s a tricky thing, you see…  My family, friends, romance, writing, music and my grades all fit into the ‘care’ category, but certain things such as new gadgets, the latest gossip, and mean people fit into the ‘don’t care’ category.  Of course, I care about these things at least a _little_ bit.  I mean, I _am_ a girl and I do enjoy having lengthy discussions about the who’s-who at Hogwarts, but not enough to be fanatic over it.

There’s one more side of me that comes to mind and that’s my appreciation for things.  I’ve always, well, almost always, been one to notice things such as colour, texture, balance and rhythm and appreciate them for what they are.  Nature has been good to me by letting me have the eye to take in my surroundings and permanently feel in awe of the beauty and grace of the world.  That’s another reason why I like the Quidditch pitch so much–when I sit there alone and stare out at the treetops straining for the familiar sounds of a flute, I realise how small I am in the elephantine pitch.  I feel humbled in the way that only magnificent things can accomplish and I’m grateful for it.  Whenever I feel stressed or choked up with emotion, I like to lose myself in the immense labyrinth that is the castle, discovering priceless paintings, hidden passageways and forgotten courtyards.  If something’s _really_ bothering me, my travels extend out to the surrounding grounds where I lose myself for hours at a time, only coming back when the sun begins to splash vivid colours on the sky, God’s expansive canvas.

Despite everything that I’ve just said, there’s one last thing about me that is absolutely crucial information:

 

 

I’m completely terrified of falling in love.

…..  
 _Oh princess_  
You’re ready for greatness  
All edited and weightless  
Never more alive, oh dear, oh dear  
How they’ll whisper your name in time   
…..

A/n: Before you say anything, I’m aware that Lily & Co. were probably born before 1964, but I shifted my timeline, so it’ll be off by like 2-4 years.  It’s explained fully in my author’s note at the end of chapter six. 


	3. Sundays

Chapter Three: Sundays  
 _(Chapter’s Song: ‘59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)’ by Simon and Garfunkel)_

 

I rolled over and yawned, slowly stretching and willing myself out of my peaceful slumber.  I settled back into bed contentedly and pulled the crumpled piece of parchment out from under my bum.

_Dear Lily,_  
Just letting you know that we went down to the lake while you and Grace were sleeping.  Most likely won’t see you till dinner or so.  
Love, Kate, Georgie and Sophie 

I laughed at my friends and the routine that we’ve all grown accustomed to over the past 6 years.  Grace and I always like to sleep in on Sunday mornings, enjoying our last day of freedom and the first day of the week.  Whenever Kate, Georgie or Sophie had ever tried to wake us up to do something, in the end, they always gave up and left us alone.

You see, I hold Sundays in high regard.  Sundays are the days that I reserve for complete relaxation and for undivided _me_ time.  I normally muck about, drawing a bath or snuggling in an armchair with a book.  I have this rule where I absolutely forbid myself to do any work on Sundays.  If I were Catholic, God would be so proud of me.  But alas, I’m not so whoopdeedoo.

 

After getting ready for the day and pulling on my favourite jumper and my comfiest pair of jeans, I settled down on my bed with an old blue leather-bound notebook that I use to sketch in.  I rifled through the pages of half-finished likenesses of my nearest and dearest, of the latest vicious man-eating Herbology plant, of the small fairy that I’d found sitting in a rosebush.   I put my book down and stared out the window at the blue expanse, strewn with signs of an oncoming storm.  I frowned at the gathering grey clouds rolling in from the south, harbingers threatening to ruin a fantastic mid-September day.

I put my notebook on my bedside table amidst a pile of pictures to be added to the Wall (the sprawling mural of pictures that spanned an entire wall of our dormitory) and stood up, stretching slightly.  What to do, what to do…

“Grace,”� I said, poking my head through her curtains and gently tapping her shoulder.  Grace grunted and peered at me through half-open eyes before closing them again and rolling over.  “I’m going downstairs.  Do you need anything?”�

“Go ‘way,”� she mumbled, and threw her blanket over her head.

“All right.  Ciao, mate,”� I said, untangled myself from the hangings of Grace’s four-poster, and meandered down to the common room.

A couple of students were scattered here and there talking or studying together, but what caught my eye was a certain studious boy with incorrigible black hair and his nose in a book.

“Hello there,”� I said, sliding into a chair opposite him.

James marked his page, pushed his specs up his nose and looked up at me.  “Hey,”� he said simply.

“You want to go do something?  Everyone left and I’m kind of bored,”� I said, drumming my fingers on the table.

James leaned back in his chair, closed his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck.  “Sure.  What do you want to do?”�

I shrugged.  “A couple of days ago you told me that you wanted to get to know me, so I thought that I’d take you up on that offer.  Plus, I’d like to get to know the _real_ James Potter.  Not the Quidditch player.  Not the Transfiguration prodigy.  Not the ‘Marauder’.  Just James,”� I said.

James opened his eyes and looked at me for a long time before saying anything.  “Yeah, okay.  Come on.”�

“Where are we-”�

James put his hand on my lips and shook his head, smiling a mysterious smile.  “Just trust me.”�

A couple of minutes later, I found myself standing in the middle of a sea of green turf, my arms crossed and with (what I’m sure is) an incredulous look on my face.  “Of all of the places that you could have taken me to on the entire campus, you took me to the _Quidditch pitch_?  Five points to Mr. Potter for creativity and ingenuity.”�

James rolled his eyes.  “Are you always this quick to jump to conclusions or are you just a smidge of a shufflebutt today?”�

“A little bit of both.  I haven’t had my daily piece of cheesecake yet.  Relapse,”� I said.

“You weren’t kidding when you said that you were addicted,”� mused James.

“Nope.  You know how some people can’t wake up without coffee or tea?  I can’t act normally unless I’ve had some kind of confection or custard.  But anyway.  Why here?  Why now?  How now, brown cow?”� I asked, sitting down on the turf and bouncing my knees up and down.

“Right…”� said James, eyeing me warily.  I grinned and waved at him.  “So, I know, and everyone else knows that you’re here almost as often as you’re in the common room, but no one knows _why._   I mean, _I’m_ on the Quidditch team, and I’m a _bloke_ , but what’s _your_ excuse?”� asked James, lying down on the grass.  He turned his head and looked at me, waiting for an explanation.

I rolled my eyes.  “What, all of a sudden you have to have something between your legs to appreciate the pitch?”� I said sarcastically.

“You know what I mean,”� said James exasperatedly.

I drew my legs up to my chest and rested my chin on my knees, thinking for a bit.  “Do you really want to know?”�

James shrugged and watched the heavy clouds roll in, their fluffy white shapes of horses and castles reflecting on his specs.

“There are actually several reasons for why I come here…  The first one that comes to mind is that I had my first snog here.  Right up there,”� I said, pointing up at the topmost seat in the Gryffindor section of the stands.  “You have to understand that I’m mad for romance and so I was waiting for my first kiss since I understood what a kiss is.  Obviously, the memory of it sticks with me.  I can still recall when it happened, what the air smelled like, everything.”�  The wind picked up and I fixed my collar against it, shivering.  At the thought of the kiss or the wind, I’m not quite sure.

“Sorry to interrupt,”� said James.  “But who was the lucky chap?”�

I blushed and leaned back on my hands.  “Remus Lupin, actually.”�

A look of indignation briefly flitted across his face, but then James laughed.  “Funny how that works out, eh?  Anyway, go on.”�

I cleared my throat, sobering up at the thought of what I was about to say and pausing to see if James is trustworthy.  A quick glance at James’s earnest expression, warm smile and unassuming air put me at ease, allowing me to open up to a virtual stranger.  “Right.  Another reason is that when I… got the news about my mum, the first place that I could think to run to was here, because of that kiss.  And then while I was hiding out here, I heard some music coming in from the Forest.  Ever since then, I come here all the time to hear it again because it keeps me sane.”�

James suddenly sat up, with a curious look in his eyes.  “Why would you of all people need to take a step back from life to put things in perspective?  You’re one of the most put together people that I know.”�

I looked at him for a second and then laughed bitterly.  “You really have no idea, do you?  My life is a complete mess.  Well, it sort of is, anyway.  I just seem to be so ‘put together’ as you, well, put it, but that’s only because of my mini-breaks.  When Mum died, Merlin, I was such a complete wreck.  It would always take me two tries before I could get a simple _Lumos_ to work.  But I guess I hid it well since you and pretty much everyone else had no idea, but…  I was _this_ close to just giving up.  The temptation of leaving Hogwarts behind and never looking back…it was on my mind every day.  I couldn’t bear to think about how my _Mum died_ while I was away at some fantastical school.  I felt guilty for not being there with her.”�

“You loved her that much, huh?”� said James softly, resting his elbows on his knees.

I nodded and looked down, twisting a lock of hair between my fingers.  “She was always there for me when I needed her, you know?  I was so incredibly homesick during first year and Mum used to send me letters every other day with a kiss on the bottom until I finally got adjusted to the whole boarding school and ‘I’m a _witch_ ’thing.  And aside from school stuff, she taught me basically everything I know.”�

I glanced at James to see if he was following and I almost gasped at what I found.  His eyes were a swirl of different colours, blue and green and gold and brown, and they displayed so much hidden emotion.  They were so full of sympathy, care, and understanding.  He watched and listened to me as if everything that I said would be groundbreaking.  He looked at me almost as if he could see right through me and I was beginning to think that he actually had the power to read my thoughts and know everything about me that I keep hidden from the world.

I looked away and stood up.  “Come on, let’s walk around, hm?  I can’t stay still for another second.”�  I brushed grass off the seat of my trousers and swept my hair back from my face.

“Alright.  But answer me this one question,”� said James, getting to his feet.

“Shoot.”�

James paused mid-stroll and looked at me with a serious face.  “Do you believe that bowtruckles get randy off of pickle juice?”�

Birds fluttered by overhead.  The wind rustled the trees off to the left, sending down a shower of red and orange and yellow and gold.  Laughter could be heard in the distance.  Bowtruckles get aroused because of pickle juice…  My world came to a screeching halt and I blinked.  “Wait, _what_?”�

“Do you or do you not believe that bowtruckles get randy off of pickle juice?”� James asked again, his lips quirked into a silly grin.

I immediately burst into a fit of laughter, my eyes almost closing and tears of mirth forming at their corners.  “You’re daft,”� I finally announced, once I caught my breath.

James shrugged.  “Peter said that once.  Sirius and I were rowing over one thing or another, probably something stupid like losing socks or some bollocks like that, and he stopped the row by asking us that oh-so-important question.  Ever since then, we’ve used it whenever we needed to throw off the tension.”�

“Then why’d you have to do it now?”� I asked, pulling my sleeves down to cover my hands.

“Because I didn’t want to make you think about something that makes you sad.”�

“Oh,”� I said softly.  We continued to walk in a companionable silence towards an undisclosed location, lost in our own thoughts.

“Do people always give you lilies because of your name?”� asked James all of a sudden.

“Do you always ask weird questions that start with ‘do’?”� I shot back.

“Just answer the question, Evans.”�

I shrugged.  “Sometimes.  Usually it’s just as a joke though, but sometimes people are off their rocker enough to think that it’s an original gesture.  Other times it’s roses, but I don’t really like people giving me roses because they’re too complicated.”�

“How the bloody hell are roses complicated?  They’re all just flowers to me,”� said James, frowning.

“Roses are way more complicated than you think.  Every colour has a specific meaning and I’ve always taken it rather seriously.  For example, a dozen red roses mean really deep love, white roses mean purity, yellow means happiness, friendship and hope, and pink means thank you.  I don’t know.  Just something that my mum passed on to me,”� I said, shrugging.

“Well, ‘a rose by any other word would smell as sweet’,”� said James.

I couldn’t help but feel a little brushed off by James’s comment.  I mean, sure, I’m impressed by the fact that he knows at least a little bit of Shakespeare (no matter how famous that line is or how he said it in such a blasé way), but I felt a little disappointed that he would disregard it so easily.

“Anyway,”� I said, moving the conversation along.  “I’ve told you enough about me for today.  Let’s talk about you.”�

“Well, what do you want to know?”� asked James, glancing at me.

“Why do you hate Severus Snape so much?”� I asked.  Hmm, I didn’t really expect that to be my first question.

Apparently James didn’t either.  “Pretty straight forward, aren’t you, Evans?  I thought that you were going to ask me something about my mates or my family, but hey, whatever waves your wand.  Anyway, Snivellus…  What’s there to say about him?  He hates me, his family hates mine and we just… can’t get along.  There’s just something about him that immediately aggravates me.  I don’t know.  It’s sort of complicated, but at the same time not really.”�

“Er, okay.  That was kind of really unclear and sort of answered my question, but whatever,”� I said, frowning.  “Oh.  What’s with the whole Moony/Wormtail/Padfoot/Prongs thing?”�

I sensed James stiffen beside me and stop for a split second, but he quickly composed himself and kept his stride.

James shrugged.  “It’s sort of a ‘mates only’ type of thing.  We came up with it sometime around the end of last year as…codenames for our ‘extra curricular activities’,”� said James, making air quotes with his hands.

“I see,”� I said.  Why does James keep on skirting around my questions?  A light rain started to fall, but we kept on walking anyway, our feet leading us towards the general direction of the castle.

“Sirius is the best friend anyone can ever hope for,”� offered James suddenly.  “He’s almost like a brother to me.  Fuck it, he _is_ my brother.  He’s always willing to lend an ear, always backs me up, and he even lets me punch him just to get some frustration out.  I’ve only done it once, but he keeps on insisting whenever I’m stressed out.  He’s really dependable.  Never lets you down.  I think that one of the reasons why we barely ever fight is because we’re just on the same wavelength.  He’s the type of person that you’ll only ever meet once in a lifetime.  He’s so god damn _crazy_ that it’s sometimes admirable.  I can’t even begin to recount all of the pranks that he’s come up with.  Some of them are purely strokes of genius and others are just so… _difficult_ that you have to be close to insanity to pull it off.  And let me tell you: Sirius _did_ carry them out, flawlessly, no less, and he didn’t get caught.  He has balls of steel, that one.  Not afraid of anything.  In a sense, he’s everything that I could ever aspire to be.  His outlook on life is just so laid back and carefree, that it’s impossible to tell that he has some funky stuff going on at home.”�  James paused here and looked at my expectant face.  “I probably shouldn’t have told you that, so if you could just…keep that bit of information to yourself."

I nodded, but couldn’t help feeling curious about what’s going on at home and why it’s all so hush-hush.

In all honesty, I didn’t expect James to open up the way he did.  The words all tumbled out of his mouth, all in a spontaneous rush to explain the indescribable bond between a man and his best mate, proving the truth in all of his words.  That speech of his was all just describing one person and I’m pretty damn sure that he could have gone on for at least an hour without saying the same thing twice.  It’s really admirable to have such complete trust in one person.  I don’t think that I can ever/will ever be able to have a bond with someone that even remotely resembles the friendship that Sirius and James have.  I mean, sure I have Kate, but girls are just… _different_ from boys.  Haven’t you ever noticed how a girl usually won’t hesitate to say something behind her friend’s back, no matter how close she is to her?  Us girls just have a sad fixation on petty things and getting ahead, that we don’t really realise how it affects each other or even ourselves.

“So what’s your analysis of me?”� asked James suddenly.

I jumped and realised that he’d been watching me, his eyes dancing and laughing, waiting to see what kind of judgment I had passed.

I smiled.  “Well, Mr. Potter.  I can’t tell you much except that the root of all of your personality defects is your rubbish childhood, which we will have to thoroughly go over in the next couple of weeks.  Oh and you also owe me 60 quid for today’s session,”� I said, playing the role of a psychiatrist.

Big drops of rain began splattering in our faces before James had a chance to respond.  The light rain that had been falling earlier suddenly escalated into a rainstorm, vicious wind and all.  The sky had broken and sheets of rain began to mercilessly rush towards the ground, creating a misty and dreamlike haze wherever you looked.

James began running towards the castle but I reached out and caught his hand.

“Wait!  Let’s stay in the rain for a little bit.  I love rainstorms,”� I said, grinning and tilting my face up towards the sky, feeling the rain collide against my skin and slide down my face.

“Lily, have you gone mad?  We’re going to get so sick!”� said James, staring at me in bewilderment.

I laughed at him and began spinning around, hugging myself.  “The rain is beautiful, James.  Embrace it!  It gives everything life.  Have you ever noticed how green and _alive_ everything looks after a heavy rainstorm?”�

“Yes,”� said James.  “But have you also seen how muddy and murky and cold it is after a rainstorm?”�

“You’re no fun,”� I said, frowning at James.  I stopped my happy spinning and laughing and began walking back towards the shelter of the castle.

James ran ahead of me and then walked backwards to keep eye contact.  “Oh, come on.  Don’t be angry.  I just don’t want to get sick.  That’s all.  I love the rain.”�

Normally, I would’ve been rather angry for having something that I love so ill-treated, but I was just too happy from the sudden downpour to keep a sour countenance.  “Okay,”� I said, smiling.

A couple of minutes later, we pushed the heavy front doors open and stumbled into the Entrance Hall, shivering and wringing ourselves free of excess water.

At that moment, when we stepped into the lamp-lit corridors of Hogwarts, I suddenly saw James Potter in a new light.  His wet hair was wild and all over the place, his fringe damp and plastered to his forehead.  His hazel eyes were alight and shining with a happy glow and his cheeks were rosy from the cold and exercise.  His handsome face shone with boyish exuberance, the perfect picture of happiness and contentment.  If there’s one thing that I discovered about James at that exact moment, it’s that he’s _sinfully attractive_ and I felt as if a blindfold had just been taken off my eyes.  Even his specs make him attractive.  In fact, they’re bloody _sexy_.  My heart skipped a beat when he reached out for my elbow and began leading me up the stairs back to Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

When we got back to the Tower, we were accosted by our friends, asking us where we’d been all day and why we were soaking wet.

Still in a happy daze, I meandered back upstairs to my dormitory and changed into something warm and dry.  For the rest of the afternoon, I stayed with my mates, exchanging stories about our day and going over homework to make sure that we had everything right.

The next day at breakfast, I received a bouquet of yellow and pink roses.

_“Dear Lily,  
Just letting you know that I _was _listening.  The yellow’s a toast for our future friendship and the pink’s to thank you for spending your day with little old me._  
Rain on, James.”�

…..  
 _Let the morning time drop all its petals on me_  
 _Life I love you  
All is groovy _  
…..


	4. Fugly Flowers and Boy Bred Befuddlement

Chapter Four: Fugly Flowers and Boy Bred Befuddlement  
 _(Chapter’s Song: ‘Life and Love and Why’ by Switchfoot)_

 

“Lily, you _really_ need to throw those out already!  They’re making a mess and they’ve gotten fugly,”� said Georgie, pointing at my flowers with her quill as she finished up some assignment.  How typical of her to leave everything to the last minute.

It’s been two weeks since James sent me the bouquet of pink and yellow roses and they still sat on the vanity, dying just a little bit more every single day.  My roommates have been complaining in varying degrees of annoyance for the past couple of days now, whining about how dead petals and dried up pieces of flower have fallen below the arrangement, creating a rather _fetching_ mess on top of our brushes.  To be honest, I’ve only kept them this long just to annoy my mates.  But shh, don’t tell them.

“Okay, fine,”� I said, vanishing the roses and their remains.  “I’m not even sure why I’ve kept them for this long,”� I said, lying through my teeth.  “And really, Georgie.  You’ve _got_ to stop saying ‘fugly.’  It’s getting annoying,”� I said.

“I think it’s funky.  ‘Fugly.’  Just say it.  Besides, it beats saying ‘fucking ugly,’ don’t you think?”� said Kate, sticking a barrette in her hair.

“Well, whatever.  I’m just glad that the _fugly_ flowers are gone,”� said Georgie, winking at me when she said it.

I rolled my eyes.  “You’re such a bitch.”�

Georgie swept into a curtsy and smiled.  “Never forget it.”�

Sophie came out of the loo just then, her hair straight for today.  “Ooh, yay!  Lily got rid of the flowers!  They were really getting fugly,”� she squealed.

“Enough with the fugly!”� I groaned, dramatically flinging myself against my bedpost and throwing my hand over my eyes.  “Let’s just go to breakfast already.  _Please_.”�

We gathered our books for the morning and began the daily pilgrimage to the Great Hall, my mind whirring with an inventory of the usual morning menu.  Scones, croissants, rolls, toast, muffins, waffles, jelly filled doughnuts…  My mouth watered at the prospect of such glorious bread products.  Honestly, who needs _ham_ and _sausages_ and _bacon_ in the morning when you’ve got _flour?_

“I really don’t get what the big deal is with ‘fugly.’  It’s not bad at all,”� said Grace.

“I don’t know.  There’s just something about the word that’s…off.  Maybe it’s because it sounds kind of sharp and ugly,”� I suggested, reluctantly tearing my mind away from plans of smearing a croissant with butter and raspberry preserves.

“You mean it’s fugly,”� said Georgie smugly.

“Ugh, fine.  Whatever.  I don’t even know why we’re debating over a stupid word,”� I said as we sat down at the Gryffindor table.  I grinned to myself and reached for the basket of croissants.  Excellent…

“Merlin’s spleen, did you know that it’s already October?”� said Sophie.

Kate rolled her eyes.  “Soph, it’s been October for almost half a week now.  But yes, it _is_ weird that we’re so far into the school year already.  It’s almost as though term started two days ago, yeah?”�

She, like the rest of us, ignored Sophie’s…colourful reference to Merlin’s body part.  You should see what else she’s come up with…Merlin’s calluses, nose hairs, spotted nighty, river dance shoes, etc.  I don’t know.  It must be some weird Anglo-French thing that she _et sa maman_ do.

“Don’t even remind me,”� I groaned, generously lathering my bread with butter.  “That only means that the workload’s going to get infinitely worse in a matter of weeks.  Come November, we’ll forget what it looks like outside.”�

“But then the Quidditch season starts!  And you _can’t_ forget about _Quidditch_!”� said Georgie, completely scandalized.

“Of course not!”� I said incredulously.  “It’s one of the highlights of the year.  Forgetting about Quidditch is like forgetting my birthday!”�

“Speaking of which, guess who turns 17 soon!”� squealed Kate.

“You’re _ancient_ ,”� said Grace, shaking her head.  “Almost as old and mossy as Stonehenge.”�

“Oh my god, don’t look now, but I think that there’s a wrinkle on her forehead,”� whispered Sophie, pointing.

“I think I see a few grey hairs, too,”� whispered Grace, flicking through Kate’s blonde hair.

“And look, her boobs are sagging already.  I don’t expect Adam would be too thrilled about that, hm?”� said Sophie.

“Oh, honestly, you two!  You’re going to be seventeen not too long after me!”� said Kate, throwing up her hands.  “And Adam’s very happy with my boobs, thank you _very_ much,”� she huffed.

“Kavs, when are you going to the Ministry to get your Apparition license?”� I asked, trying to stop the faces that Kate and Sophie were making at each other.  At that moment, my owl, Oleander landed next to me and dropped a letter from her beak.

“I don’t know.  Probably over Christmas holidays though, I can tell you that much.  Who’s the letter from?”�

I looked at my name written on the envelope and immediately recognised the handwriting.  “My dad,”� I said simply and tucked the weekly letter into my bag for safe keeping to read later during lunch.

“Come on, poops.  Lovely McGonagall awaits,”� said Georgie, after sending her large package from home to the dormitories.  Handy little charms that Professor Flitwick teaches us, no?  One of my particular favourites is the Sobering Charm.  Very useful and very effective, indeed.

“Do we really _have_ to go?”� whined Kate as Grace heaved her up.

***

“Miss Evans, _please_ pay attention!”� said Professor McGonagall sharply.

I looked up from my drawing and flashed her my teacher’s pet smile in the middle of using my wand to add colour to the parchment.

McGonagall turned away and continued her lecture on _nonverbally_ transfiguring one animal into another, occasionally rapping someone’s head with her wand if they weren’t paying attention.

I sighed and looked down at my piece of parchment with a sketch of Kate’s hands and her pretty sapphire ring.  I’m going to have to ask Remus if I can copy his notes later…

All of a sudden, I was assaulted with several pieces of balled up parchment hitting me in the back of my head.

I whipped around in my chair, sending an angry glare at James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, all trying to look innocent in their seats.  James was staring at me with an amused smile playing on his lips.  He mouthed ‘go on’ and gestured towards the parchments, each of them varying in degrees of shabbiness and amount of notes and/or doodles scribbled on them.

I rolled my eyes and opened up the pieces of paper.

_‘Lily, you’re an angel in disguise,’_ said one of them, written in what seemed to be Peter’s hand, as my fabulous sleuthing (deductive reasoning) skills tell me.  
 _‘You take my breath away with every shoe that you buy,’_ said Remus’s, his slanted, ‘I’m a Prefect, damn it’ handwriting slashed across the note.  
 _‘Please throw me into a broom closet and savagely rip my clothes off with your teeth,’_ said one of them in an elegant, finely controlled print.  Obviously Sirius’s.  I rolled my eyes at him, and he grinned at me and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.  Please.  I don’t think that my boyfriend would be too happy about that.  Oh, Nate.  My darling, flaxen, green-eyed Head Boy.  
 _‘Meet me at the greenhouses after dinner,’_ said James’s.  I looked up at him and saw that he was watching me.  I nodded subtly and then turned my attention back to class.

“What’d they say?”� whispered Kate, barely moving her lips and keeping her eyes on McGonagall.

I wordlessly passed her their notes under the table.  “James wants to see me after dinner,”� I whispered back, sighing wistfully.

Kate looked at me sharply.  “You’re not falling for him, are you?”�

I shook my head vehemently.  “Merlin, no.  I don’t like him that way, you know that.  We’re not even friends.  And I have a boyfriend.”�  Whom I haven’t properly seen since the end of fifth year.  Other than Prefect meetings and quick how-do-you-dos in the corridors, Nate and I haven’t really _seen_ each other in quite a while.

“That’s not the impression that I got when you stumbled into the common room soaked to the bone two weeks ago,”� said Kate.  “Not even friends and not liking him, my arse.”�

I blushed.  “That’s only because I recently realised how fetching he really is.”�

“Oh, Lily.  Don’t do this to yourself.  I know how you are with boys.  James…  Don’t let James get to you,”� she said.

I nodded.  “I’ll try.”�

Oh Kate, what would I do without you?  You always know what I’m thinking and can predict my every move.  Seriously, if Kate didn’t look out for me all of the time, I’d probably be sent off in a thousand pieces jumbled up in a crate to St. Mungo’s with a letter sending me to the closed ward for life.

***

The rest of classes and the day in general passed by in a blur, and if you asked me to summarize each of my lessons, I wouldn’t be able to tell you a single thing.  It was one of those days where you feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience, you know?  You know what you’re doing and what you’re thinking and all of that, but your mind _just isn’t there_.  It’s focused on better and brighter things, for example, plotting out the details to a short story that involves fairy lights, mulled mead and ice-skating.

Dad’s letter sort of brought me back to reality.  It wasn’t really anything important, just letting me know how things were going at home, at work, etc, etc.  He has been living in London recently, since both Petunia and I are away at school and being in the country was just too lonely for him.  He asked me if I’d found anyone worthy of bringing home for Christmas, which made me blush and I couldn’t help but think about James.  Am I really falling for him?  Given my past history with boys, it wouldn’t be the first time I’d fallen for a bloke just because he’d shown me some attention and has a pretty face to boot.  Maybe Kate’s right.  Maybe I _am_ letting James get to me, more than I know.

I shook my head to clear my mind and wrapped my jumper tightly against the draft in the hallways.  All of a sudden, a pair of arms whirled me around into their owner’s body and enclosed my lips in a kiss.

I immediately recognised the boy’s scent, his body and his kiss and relaxed into him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He hungrily took me in, tangling his hands in my hair like he so often used to do.  The days of snogging and wild parties rushed back into my mind and I smiled inwardly.  I’d missed him over the summer.  Maybe…  No, I can’t bring him home.  That would be too weird.  I’m not even sure if I still _like_ him, or at least, not as strongly as I did last year.

We broke apart gasping for breath and I looked up into his green eyes, darker and more intense and emotional than my own.

“Hey,”� I smiled, kissing him chastely on the cheek, but keeping my arms around him.

“I’ve missed you so much,”� said Nate, pulling me into a warm hug.  “I’ve been looking for you for the past half hour and then I ran into Kate who told me that you were most likely wandering around this part of the castle.”�

I giggled.  “I’m on my way to the greenhouses, but you know me.  I kind of got distracted by the shiny things and then drooled all over my jumper.  But anyway, how’ve you been?  Seventh year as gruesome as it’s rumored to be?”� I asked him, taking his hand and continuing my journey to Herbology- and dragon dung-central

Nate let out a cross between a snarl, a growl and a moan.  “The amount of work we’re getting is bloody _ruthless_.  You’d think that we had nothing better to do than to sit holed up in the library every waking hour.  I miss the good old days, back when the workload was much easier.  Be happy that you’re still in sixth year, NEWT year _sucks_.  Lily, it would’ve been _so_ much easier if we were in the same House.”�

I laughed.  “Nate, we’d fail out of Hogwarts if we were in the same House.  You know that as well as I do.  Besides, how would it look if our Head Boy were mixing business with pleasure?  Prefect meetings would be unbearable.”�

“They already are, love,”� said Nate, kissing the top of my head.  “Why are you going to the greenhouses, anyway?”�

“Hm?  Oh, James asked me to meet him there earlier,”� I said, blushing.  Thank Merlin we’re outside and it’s dark.  I don’t even know why I’m blushing.  I mean, it’s just James!  It’s not like I’m _interested_ in him.  After all, I have Nate, one of the most sought after blokes in Hogwarts!  I snorted in my inner monologue.  Don’t I sound like a spoiled brat?

“James…”� said Nate thoughtfully.  “James Potter?  Captain of your Quidditch team?”�

“He made Captain?”� I asked.

Nate laughed.  “It makes me wonder and pause to reflect, while striking an assuredly handsome pose, of course, on _how_ you can be such a brilliant witch who’s obsessed with Quidditch and still manage to not know who your House captain is.  And drool because of shiny things, of course.”�

I smiled sheepishly.  “Well, you know me.  Book smart, but not street smart.  It’s amazing the way that I can navigate and walk through London without getting hit by cars, really.”�

“Is it sheer luck or a clever spell?  Tune in next week to find out,”� joked Nate.  “Well, here you are.”�  We kissed one last time, and he wrapped his scarf around my neck for extra warmth.  “I’ll see you later, Lily.”�

I smiled and pushed the door open to one of the greenhouses and immediately the scent of hundreds of plants and flowers assaulted my nose, making me dizzy and sending my head spinning.

I spotted a head of black hair down by the assortment of wizard flowers and began to pick my way over, concentrating on not passing out.  Being in this particular greenhouse is like spending more than five minutes in one of those heavily scented candle stores, where you feel like you’re being smothered by an aunt’s overly perfumed ample bosom throughout a painfully prolonged greeting during the holidays.

“Ahoy there!”� I called out to him when I was within hearing range.

James looked up at me and smiled tightly, his eyes never leaving my face as I approached him.

“You’re wearing a Ravenclaw scarf,”� he said flatly, motioning to my neck.  The smile fell off of his face with incredible speed and it was as if it was never there.

“So I am,”� I said, my happiness immediately ebbing away and my defenses kicking in.  He summons me to this amply bosomed candle store and then acts like an arse?  _Hell_ no.  “Why did you want to see me down here?”� I asked, cutting straight to the point.

“I just…I wanted to…  You know what?  Never mind,”� said James, suddenly angry for no apparent reason.

I narrowed my eyes and stared at him.  “No James.  What did you want to see me for?  And why the hell are you suddenly angry with me?”�

“Never mind, I said!  You just,”� said James, motioning to my scarf again.  “You’re still with him?”�

Oh, so it’s all about _Nate_ now, is it?  “Of course I’m still with him, what kind of question is that?  And frankly, it’s none of your business to know who I date and why.  I don’t need to _explain myself,_ and to _you_ , of all people!  Potter, we’re not even _friends_!  What right do you have to question my choices?”�

James immediately looked hurt, but then his face hardened and he stood up straighter.  “Right.  Fine.  Sorry I even asked.  Excuse me, I have somewhere else to be.”�  He walked past me, making sure to bump my shoulder with his on his way out.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten, thinking about my mum’s banana bread and my dad’s scent of pipe smoke.  I opened my eyes and I knew that they had changed back to their original light green colour instead of the darker tones that they always have during heated exchanges with James.

I sighed and sat down on a nearby bench and dropped my head into my hands.  Just another example of why it’s always bad if we plan our meetings.  Things are never going to change between us.  I admit that much.  For every advance that we make, we’re always going to have to take two steps back.  It’s like this warped dance that they never taught us in the ballroom dancing school of life.  There should at least be some person who’s in charge of writing pamphlets (complete with detailed illustrations and diagrams) about the complexities of Boy that should be distributed to girls on their 13th birthday.  Really, it’s only fair.  And they say that the girls are the complicated ones…  Pfft.  As if.

I sat up properly and looked around me.  The windows of the greenhouse were fogged up and the lights overhead beat down mercilessly, keeping the plants warm and the humans sweating like pigs (attractive image, no?).  I unwrapped Nate’s scarf and held it in my hands, staring at everything that it represented.  It’s funny how a single article of clothing can speak volumes about one person…

In my peripheral, I saw a splash of colour protesting against the uniform green of the room, a vibrant palette of complementary colours.  An abandoned arrangement of yellow fire tulips, irises, and white oleanders lay on the ground, scattered as though dropped in a hurry.  I bent down and picked them up and saw that the normally small blue flame in the tulips swelled and became pink when I looked inside.  I furrowed my brow.  The flame normally doesn’t change colour…

I brushed the thought aside and gathered my things and the flowers, ready to put them in a vase back in the dormitory.  I quietly laughed to myself.  Hopefully they won’t be deemed fugly once placed in the room.

***

“Hey Lee.  How was your meeting with James?”� asked Kate, who was sitting at the bureau with her brush in hand.

I sat down on the end of her bed and looked at her reflection in the mirror.  “Judging by the way that you just asked me, I think that you already know.”�  I sighed and got up to put my flowers in the blue porcelain vase ever present on the bureau.

Kate turned around and studied me while I moved about the room.  “Was it as bad as usual?”�

I leaned against the wall next to her and smiled.  “No, actually, it wasn’t.  All that happened was that I went into the greenhouse, he saw my scarf, well, the scarf that I was wearing and he got upset.  We exchanged a couple of words and then he left.”�  I smiled ruefully.  “At least I didn’t hex him this time.”�

Kate laughed and shook her head.  “Wait, your scarf?”� she asked, looking up.

“Yeah,”� I said, sighing.  I fished Nate’s scarf out of my pocket and gave it to Kate to hold.

Kate folded it in her lap and smiled.  “How is he?”�

I smiled back at her.  “As irresistible as ever.  But, I don’t know.  It’s not the same as last year, you know?  Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen him in such a long time or because I’ve changed or something, but I just…don’t feel the same around him anymore.”�

“Well, that’s good, right?  At least now Grace won’t have to perform her anti-hickey charm on you every couple of hours and you won’t just randomly disappear in the middle of the night,”� said Kate, laughing.

I laughed and shook my head.  Hey, I may be a romantic, but I’m no prude.  “Anyway, yeah, I don’t know.  You know what I mean?”�

Kate nodded, understanding my cryptic way of speaking.  “I know, love.  Just take your time.  Oh and before I forget, here,”� said Kate, getting up and walking to the desk.  “When James came into the common room, he looked really upset, and then he conjured this and told me to give it to you.  He knows what your favourite flower is?”� she asked, arching her eyebrows.

I reached out and accepted James’s flower and held in my hands another one of his perfect white tulips.  I smiled, immediately touched.  “Yeah, I guess he does.  And it’s sort of become our symbol of peace.”�

All of a sudden, Georgie burst through the door and bounded towards us.

“Hello, my darling darlings!”� she cried, twirling around in front of the floor-length mirror propped up near the door.  “You like?”� she asked, gesturing towards the gorgeous blue jacket that she had on.

“Me _likey_ ,”� said Kate.

“And look!  The best part is that it looks like I’m not wearing anything under it!  I could totally pass off as a flasher,”� said Georgie happily, quickly opening up her coat to reveal that she is, indeed, wearing her uniform underneath.

“Is that what came in the box this morning?”� I asked.

“Yep.  And look, Mum sent me these, too!”� said Georgie, pulling a pair of brand new black snakeskin pumps out of her trunk.

“Oh, shut _up_ ,”� said Kate reverently, her massive shoe fetish taking over.  She grabbed a shoe out of Georgie’s hand and began examining it.  “What’s the occasion?”�

“Promotion at work.  She’s the new fashion director of _Siren_ , so now she gets a ton of free stuff,”� said Georgie, twirling around.

“Alright, well, I’m exhausted, so I’m going to get ready for bed,”� I announced, picking my pajamas up on the way to the loo.

***

The truth of the matter was that I wasn’t tired at all.  After climbing into bed, I laid awake until well past midnight, going in circles in my head.

Do I still like Nate?  Should I keep on leading him on the way that I [kind of] am now?  I mean, I hadn’t even thought about him until Sirius’s note, even with the Prefect meetings and all.  I didn’t even know if we were _still together_ since we had kind of left things up in the air at the end of last year.  I’d just been so preoccupied with getting myself settled back into my Hogwarts routine and this new friendship or whatever with James that I hadn’t even remembered our…relationship.  And what _about_ James?  Why am I suddenly thinking about _him_ all of the time?

I sighed and climbed out of bed with the intention of going down to the common room to think.  It’s times like these when I really miss my mum.  She would’ve been able to help me sort out this mess and realise what it is that I’m feeling, even though it’s all silly, trivial boy stuff.  I thought about Mum’s comforting words and her soothing voice and the way that she always made everything seem infinitely better, especially with a cup of her specially-made tea.

I curled up on a couch and wiped my eyes as I stared at the dying fire.

“Lily?  Is that you?”�

…..  
 _Take away from me_  
 _This monstrosity  
 _‘Cause my futile thinking’s_  
 _Not gonna solve nothing tonight__  
…..  


A/n: I’ve posted pictures of what I think Lily, Kate, Georgie, and Lily’s friend, Vittoria Sorentillo look like on my Livejournal (http://www.livejournal.com/users/white_tulips/29219.html#cutid1 incase the link didn't work). 


	5. Glowing Embers

Chapter Five: Glowing Embers  
 _(Chapter’s Song: ‘The Scientist’ by Coldplay)_

 

I jumped, not expecting any company this late at night, especially someone who had just come in through the portrait hole.  I quickly wiped my cheeks and sat up straighter, turning around in my seat to face the speaker.

“Yeah, hey James,”� I said softly, pasting a smile (or a grimace?) on my face.

He held something silvery and fluid in his hands that he quickly stuffed into his pajama pockets as he waded through the footstools and abandoned books.  His hair was tousled and it seemed as though the peace of sleep had evaded him as well.

“Are you okay?  What are you doing down here?”� he asked, sitting down beside me

“The question is, what were _you_ doing _outside_ after hours?”� I said, sniffling a little and raising my chin defiantly.  _I won’t cry, I won’t cry, I won’t cry…_

James furrowed his brow and looked straight into my eyes and they began to well up with tears again.  Sitting in such close proximity to one of the people who’s causing me this trouble, no matter how minute, set the wet works off again and I furiously began to blink as I leaned back against the cushions on the couch.  So much for keeping my composure.

“Oh love, what’s wrong?”� asked James tenderly, pulling me into an embrace as I began to openly weep.  James patted my back and made calming shushing noises as he gently rocked me back and forth.

I shook my head and attempted to smile through my tears.  “It’s nothing, I’m just being stupid.  I miss my mum is all.”�  I shook my head again and wiped my tears away, angry at myself for breaking down in front of James like this.  Honestly, I’ve only been mates with him for what, three weeks, and now I’m crying on his shirt in the middle of the night?  And especially after I yelled at him for no reason whatsoever earlier…  I shuddered at the idea of what he must think of me now.

“Hey, hey, it’s all right.  Don’t worry about it.  And I want you to know that I may not be your mum, but I’m always here for you if you need me.  Just, you know, give me a call,”� said James soothingly, smoothing my hair away from my face.  He fished in his pocket and produced a small rectangular piece of parchment and handed it to me.

I held it up to catch the light of the fire and read what it said: _‘Mr. Prongs of Gryffindor’s 6th years invites you to call upon him whenever in need of a big strong shoulder to cry on_.’

I laughed and playfully hit James.  “You’re such an idiot,”� I said.

“But I’m a _cute_ idiot,”� said James in a childish voice, making his eyes look huge and pouting like a 4 year old who didn’t get his afternoon biscuit.

I smiled and shook my head.

“You’re not denying it,”� said James slyly in a singsong voice.

“No, I’m not,”� I said, grinning slightly.

“Alas, the lady grins!”� said James happily as his face broke out into a bright smile.

I smiled back at him and then turned back to the fire, acutely aware of his arm slung around my practically bare shoulders.  There was something akin to an awkward silence as we sat there, the two of us staring at the dancing and flickering tongues of colour licking at the grate.  “Listen, I’m sorry about earlier.  I just have this awful tendency of becoming a complete _cow_ whenever someone second-guesses my decisions because I really _do_ take the time to think about them.  Well, more often than not, anyway.  And also, I honestly didn’t mean what I said about you and I not being friends because we really are,”� I said all in one breath, craning my neck to see a better angle of his face.

James’s face had turned solemn during my apology and he stared contemplatively at the glowing embers.  He looked up at me through his eyelashes, his eyes and the upturned corners of his mouth telling me that he had accepted my apology before I even offered it.  “Lily, I should be the one apologizing.  I was being stupid.  I was being such a prat.  Forgive me?”�

I nodded.  “Of course,”� I said, and kissed his cheek.  “And thank you for the flower,”� I said, smiling shyly.

“Oh good, so Kate gave it to you?  I didn’t know what to do when I got back to Gryffindor, and then I saw Kate, who saw me, who knew that we’d just seen each other, who then gave me a look, and I just panicked.  So I kind of conjured the flower and fled,”� mumbled James, bowing his head in embarrassment.

I giggled.  “She didn’t say anything, so I don’t really think that she noticed.  But really, I appreciate the gesture, it means a lot to me.”�

James shrugged.  “No problem,”� he said easily, but the corners of his mouth told me that he was anything but indifferent.  James really wants to be my mate, doesn’t he?  I must admit, though, that it’s definitely a nice change from being asked out practically every day.  It’s good to know that he’s interested in me as a person too, rather than just as a name or aesthetics.

“Oh, by the way, congratulations on making Captain,”� I said, playfully nudging his shoulder with mine.

“You heard?”� he asked, nudging me back.

“Yeah.  Actually, erm, Nate told me.  But yeah.  Sorry I couldn’t offer my congratulations sooner,”� I said.

James shrugged.  “No problem,”� he said, running a hand through his hair and making it stick up every which way.

I nodded and turned to look out the window, snuggling into the warmth that James’s body offered.  He smells like a heavenly combination of soap, clean laundry and Hogwarts in the fall, settling my nerves and lulling me into a blissfully peaceful state.  James rested his cheek against my hair and I closed my eyes, sighing contentedly.  I reveled in the fact that I somehow knew that we could spend hours like this without saying a word.  I don’t know how I knew it, but when James fixed the strap of my shirt when it fell off of my shoulder, I knew that James really _would_ always be there for me if I needed him.  All I had to do was ask.

“James, what’s your favourite color?”� I asked, after watching the flames begin to wind down, casting eerie shadows on the red-and-gold Persian.

“Green,”� he said immediately.  “It’s the colour of life and growth.  It also happens to look smashing on me,”� joked James with a hint of his classic confidence.

“What’s your favourite pastry?”� he countered.

I snorted.  “Did you really just ask that?  But anyway, cheesecake.  Definitely cheesecake.  Preferably turtle cheesecake if it can be managed, but chocolate swirl is all right too.  You know, if I could found my own village, I’d build a palace made out of cheesecake, and then I’d invent charms to keep it from spoiling and from melting.”�

“A cheesecake _palace_?”� said James skeptically, raising an eyebrow at me.  “If _I_ were to build a palace made out of food, it would be a chocolate soufflé, with white chocolate floors.  And then the Quidditch pitch in the back would be made out of sugar-spun turf like Sugar Quills, the goal posts would be made out of licorice, and the balls would be made out of gigantic Bertie Botts beans.”�

“We should found a village together.  We could name it… _Confectionland_ ,”� I said.

“I like the idea of founding a village together, but _Confectionland_?  Kind of lame, Lily,”� said James.

“Well.  If you come up with a better name for our village, feel free to make any suggestions,”� I said haughtily.

“Of course, there would be a Quidditch supply store,”� said James.

“And a doggy day care or something for my puppy,”� I added.

“And a whole slew of pubs.  Definitely a whole alley, just for pubs,”� said James, nodding to himself.

By now, I had stretched out so that my head is in James’s lap and the rest of me was spread out on the couch.  In the past twenty minutes or so, James and I had reached an unspoken agreement that allowed touch without any awkwardness.  Every now and then, I would brush his hair away if it fell into his face and his fingers traced patterns up and down my arms, sending waves of tingles down my spine.

“Lily, what’s your biggest fear?”� asked James quietly after several minutes of contemplation.  He stopped moving his hands and my eyes flew up to meet his.

The turn of the conversation caught me off guard, and I studied James’s expression to see if he really meant it, to see if he really wanted to know.  “To forget my mother,”� I whispered after some slight hesitation.  I sat up and tucked my legs under me and began to comb my fingers through my hair.  “I know that I sound like I haven’t moved on and everything, but the very _idea_ of forgetting about someone who gave birth to me, raised me when she didn’t have to and just… _made_ me, it’s…it’s just something that I really fear.  My mum defined who I am as a person, you know?  She taught me the morals and principles that I hold true to today, she taught me what it’s like to feel loved and she made me realise that there’s always going to be someone that I can turn to.  Forgetting Mum would be like,”� I searched for something that I could compare this feeling with.  There is virtually no word or phrase that can completely explain how I feel.  “I don’t know…I think that forgetting Mum would be like forgetting _me_.”�

James started shaking his head.  “I just can’t imagine what it would be like to lose one of my parents.  It’s just something that I never really think about…  I’m really sorry that you had to go through all of this, Lily.  I really am.”�

I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear.  “It’s okay.  There’s no use crying over spilt potion.”�

“You know, you always do that when you’re nervous or upset,”� said James.

“Do what?”�

“Comb your fingers through your hair or fiddle with it.”�

“Well, you do the same thing you know,”� I said, nodding at him and miming James’s classic hair-ruffle.

“Oh,”� said James.  “But that’s because my hair looks better when it’s really messy.  Otherwise it just looks stupid because it won’t ever lie flat,”� he said, grinning.

“Well, I think that it looks stupid either way,”� I said.  I reached up and ruffled his hair with both hands.  “There you are.”�

James wrinkled his nose and I laughed at the stupid expression on his face.

“Did you really have to do that?  I think that it was messily fine the way it was,”� he said, pouting and patting his hair.

“You still remain an enigma to me, James Potter,”� I said, settling back against the couch.

James leaned back and rubbed his eyes as he sighed deeply.  “I’m as readable to you as you are to me.”�

I looked at James quizzically, but it seemed as though he wanted it to be left at that.  During the time that we’d been sitting here, James and I somehow came to an understanding, something similar to an agreement or a truce, or a combination of the two.  I feel like we won’t have those major blowouts like we used to back in 4th year.  No, we’ve come a long way from then and I think that we’ve matured enough to not have to stoop low and resort to petty name-calling.  The only problem is that if we ever get into another row, I have a feeling that the proportions will be large and the stakes high, and that worries me.

No matter.  As far as I can tell, that won’t trouble us any time soon.  At the moment, we have a long and beautiful friendship to begin.  Likes and hates to discover, mannerisms to make peace with, meals to share, a village to be founded…  I glanced back at James who was fiddling with whatever it was that he had put in his pocket while quietly humming to himself.  James, this boy who I’ve known for five and a half years now, who I’ve lived with and worked with, will always remain a mystery to me.  I feel like the key to his personality is just within my grasp, but there’s something that I have to do, or something that _we_ have to do to get there.  I can sense it.  Once that certain thing happens, James Potter will have an entirely new character.  I feel like I have a key in my hand, and every door that I try just won’t budge.  It’s almost like I’m Alice, and no matter what I do and no matter how hard I try or potions I take, I just can’t seem to get that door open.

“Lily, why are you staring at me?”� asked James, his voice deep and tired.

I blinked, not realising what I had been doing.  “Sorry, I’m just really tired.  Kind of zoned out a bit there.”�

“Well, it _is_ almost 4 o’ clock in the morning, space cadet,”� said James, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses.

My stomach dropped.  “ _What?_   How long have we been down here?  We still have classes tomorrow and I’m almost _positive_ that I’ll fall asleep at my desk.  What are we going to _do_?  _Bloody_ fuck.”�

James raised an eyebrow.  “I don’t know, we’ve been here maybe 3 hours?  And don’t worry about not getting enough sleep.  We have Flitwick first thing tomorrow and I’m sure that you’re ahead enough to not have to worry about falling behind.”�

“Well, I’m going to go to bed anyway.  I’m just way too tired,”� I said, getting up and yawning.

James reached out and pulled me back down.  “Just wait a little bit with me.  Please?  At least until the fire dies out.  Look, it’s going to happen any minute now,”� he said, pointing.

“All right,”� I conceded.  I tucked my legs under my body and leaned against James, finding a comfortable spot for my head on his shoulder.

James wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head as we watched the fire go out, the two of us curled together on the couch.

…..  
 _Tell me your secrets,_  
And ask me your questions,  
Oh, let’s go back to the start   
…..


	6. La Premiere Fete

Chapter Six: La PremiÃ¨re FÃªte  
 _(Chapter’s Song: ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ by Guns n’ Roses)_

 

I dropped my head onto my elbows and groaned.  “For the love of Merlin and the deity of academia, I can’t do this any more.  I really can’t.”�

“Come on, you don’t have much left to copy.  And really, I could’ve just done a duplicating charm, but you insisted on copying it yourself,”� said Remus, poking my arm with the sharp tip of his quill.

I sighed and sat up properly, rubbing my eyes and barely suppressing a yawn.  “I’m sorry, I’m just _so_ tired.  I didn’t end up going to bed until like way past 4.  And will you _stop_ poking me?  You’re such a prat,”� I said, swatting his hand away.  Luckily, I had woken up before anyone would have been in the common room.  What would it have looked like if they found James and I sleeping together on the couch, arms and legs tangled?  Oh Merlin, I shudder at the thought of what Kate and Georgie would have said…

“Just out of curiosity, why _were_ you up so late?”� asked Remus, scribbling something on an essay of his.

I stared at his notes from yesterday’s Transfiguration lesson and blinked to bring the words into focus.  “I don’t know.  I just couldn’t sleep for some reason.  I ended up going down to the common room and I actually fell asleep there.”�

“That’s funny…”� mumbled Remus to himself.

“What’s that?”�

“James said that he fell asleep in the common room too,”� said Remus.  He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow questioningly, his amber eyes glittering with laughter.

“Oh,”� I said lamely.  I looked down and avoided his eyes, knowing that he knows that I know that he knows about what happened last night.

“Lily, Professor McGonagall wants to talk to you,”� said Natalie, a Hufflepuff in our year, suddenly appearing like a glorious oasis in the middle of the desert of my needs.

Oh, sweet, _sweet_ Merlin.  I exhaled, completely relieved that I didn’t have to answer Remus’s unvoiced question.  “Thanks, Nat.  Remus, can I just take these with me?  I’ll give them back to you later,”� I said, holding up the sheets of parchment.

He leaned back in his chair, balancing on the back two legs.  “Sure, go ahead, Lily,”� he said with a hint of laughter in his voice and he eyed me knowingly, his quill in between his teeth.

_Prat._   “Thanks, love.”�

***

I raised my fist to knock on McGonagall’s door just as it swung open.

“Okay.  Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice, Professor.  I really appreciate it,”� said James, standing with his hand on the doorknob.

“Of course, Mr. Potter.  Let me know how everything turns out.  And remember: do _anything that is necessary_.”�

“Duly noted, Minnie McG,”� said James, grinning.  “Hullo,”� he said, smiling at me as I walked into Professor McGonagall’s office.

“Hi,”� I breathed.  James touched my shoulder and then left me with Professor McGonagall, sitting behind her desk and looking over a bunch of essays.  “Sorry I’m late, Professor.  I was in the library.”�

“That’s quite all right, Miss Evans.  Now, you know why we are here this afternoon, yes?”� she asked, pushing her square spectacles further up her nose.

I nodded and crossed my legs in a business-like fashion.  “I know that I said that I had interest in becoming a Magical-Muggle liaison for the Ministry, but I was going over the pamphlets and brochures that you gave me at the end of last year and I’ve decided that I want to go in a different direction.”�

“I see,”� said McGonagall, making some notes in my file that had appeared on her desk.  “Have you thought of a different career that you would like to pursue instead?”� asked McGonagall.

I nodded again.  “While I was reading the literature that you gave me, I realised that being a liaison to the Muggle government isn’t really something that I could really see myself enjoying.  I think that the reason why I chose that in the first place is because it’s a career that I’m somewhat familiar with, especially because of my father.  So anyway, I was thinking of maybe becoming a part of the Ministry’s Intelligence,”� I finished in a rush and looked up at my Head of House to see her reaction.

“You are aware, Miss Evans, of the dangers that you are putting yourself at risk to, should you choose to pursue this?”� she asked, her facial expression remaining neutral.  If she could just _once_ show some emotion, I promise you, hell WILL NOT freeze over.  Honestly.  Give a girl a bone, here.

I nodded, relieved that she at least didn’t shoot me down.  “I’ve made a list of pro’s and con’s for this and I’m completely willing to accept everything that the job would entail.”�

“Well, Lily, you are one of the brightest students that I have ever had the pleasure to teach,”� said McGonagall.

I blushed and mumbled a thank you.

“So I think that you will be able to handle Intelligence, even though there are many aspects of the career that are certainly quite trying.  And as luck would have it, you are currently enrolled in all of the NEWT level courses that the Intelligence department requires, so there would be no need for a new schedule or make up work.  I’ll give you some more information about the Agency and I want you to come back and see me in two weeks’ time,”� said McGonagall, handing me a folder filled with pamphlets about my likely future job.

“Thank you so much, Professor.  I was really worried that you were going to tell me that it was too late to change my mind or something, especially since the school year’s already underway,”� I said, standing up and throwing my bag over my shoulder.

“Nonsense, Miss Evans.  Like I said, you’re one of the brightest students in this institution and you are more than capable of handling yourself,”� said McGonagall, offering me super-rare praise.

“Well, thanks again,”� I said, and left her office.

I turned left and began walking, thinking about the types of things that I’ll have to do, should I get accepted into the Ministry Intelligence Agency.  From research that I’ve done on my own, I’m going to have to go on dangerous missions to retrieve valuable intel, which is most likely going to be the basis for some major operations.  Fuck boring deskwork.  I’m going to be out on the field kicking some major arse!  I could be like the new Bond, except a girl, obviously, and much better, since I can do magic.  Maybe I’ll be able to find my very own Bond Bloke too…  I got a tingle in my stomach and I began to walk faster, my adrenaline levels rising just at the thought of the MIA.

I reached the portrait of Wendolyn the Weird and stopped, realising that I’ve gone in the completely wrong direction.  I’ve been walking towards the Ravenclaw common room instead of Gryffindor for the past fifteen minutes without even realising it.  Oh joy.  Now it’ll take me twice as long to get back to the dormitories.  I must be utterly exhausted if I can’t even make my way back to the bloody tower.

I spun on my heel and rammed right into a solid wall.  I blinked, something that I’ve been doing a lot today, and realised that it was just Jared, one of Nate’s friends.  I mentally rolled my eyes.  Of course slamming into Jared would be like walking into a wall.  This bloke works out like it’s his job.

“Lily!  I was actually looking for you,”� he said, smiling warmly.

I smiled back, inwardly shuddering.  Jared would have been extremely attractive, had it not been for his horrible teeth.  And let me tell you, these teeth are downright _atrocious_.  They’re yellow from improper hygiene and his constant smoking and they’re not straight and I just want to throw a toothbrush at him and run away.  “Really?  Why’s that?”� I asked, continuing on towards the direction of the Tower.

“Well, the 7th years are having a party tonight and we wanted to invite you.  It’s in the South side of the castle, 4th floor.  You won’t be able to miss it.  It starts at 9 and ends whenever.  Oh and I’ve been told to ask you if you can bring Georgina with you,”� said Jared.

“Party,”� I repeated, and grinned.  “Yeah, definitely.  I’ll let Georgie know.  See you then.”�

“Righto.  Later, Lily,”� he said, and walked off.

Excellent.  I began walking to the Tower a little faster, pumped with newfound energy from a combination of my new prospects as an Intelligence officer and tonight’s party.  It’s the first official Hogwarts party of the year and with pretty much only 7th years invited, it’s not going to be some lame common room party.  Not to say that the Gryffindor parties are lame, because they’re definitely not, but…  Let’s just say that you need to tone down some in the presence of the younger children.  Set a good example for the impressionable youth, and all that.

I glanced at my watch.  Okay, so I’ve already finished all of my homework and we don’t have any more lessons today, so I’m pretty much free to do whatever I please.  If I go and have dinner now, then I’ll be able to nap for three hours before the party and then I won’t be so tired.  And then tomorrow I don’t have class until 9, so I can sleep in…

“Boiled cabbages,”� I said to the Fat Lady, and entered the common room looking for Georgie.

***

“You know, it’s quite peculiar how the two of you are always the only ones who are invited to the 7th year’s parties,”� said Kate.

“What?”� I yelled over my wand.  I used a spell to make my wand work as a blow dryer and I stood bent over with my hair hanging down in front of my face.  Frankly, I look like Cousin It, except that you can see my legs.

“She said that it’s strange how the two of us are always the only ones invited to parties,”� bellowed Georgie back.

I flipped my hair over my head, stood up straight and continued to blow dry the ends.  “Shut up, G,”� I said, making a face at her unnecessary volume.

“So Kate, what are you going to do tonight while we’re all gone?  Lily and I are going to party like it’s 1999, Grace has detention and Sophie has to write that Potions essay,”� said Georgie, putting an earring on.

“Nothing really.  Just going to hang out with Adam.”�

I ‘turned off’ my wand and began to brush my hair.  “Is it weird if I’m jealous of you and your boyfriend if I have one myself?”�

“Wait, give me a second to ponder…  _Yes_?”� said Sophie sarcastically.  “And don’t gloat over your ‘taken’ status in front of the single girls, thank you very much.  Oh and Lily, you really have to turn the fan on when you shower.  My hair pouffed out to oblivion after being in the loo for two seconds.”�

“Sorry,”� I said, smiling sheepishly.

“Anyway,”� said Kate shrugging, “aren’t you planning on breaking up with Nate soon anyway?  I know that things haven’t really been peachy keen between the two of you and you don’t seem as interested.”�

“You know, I’m not really sure.  I mean, on the one hand, I kind of want to shag him, partly because I feel like I’m ready, and partly because I’m really comfortable around him, and I’d rather lose my virginity to someone who I know wouldn’t make it awkward, you know?  But then on the other hand, I’m not really feeling his vibe, but that could just be because I haven’t been seeing him as often as I did last year.  I think that I’ll see how it goes in the next week, but if nothing really _happens_ , then yeah…we’re definitely over.  Kinda sad though, because he is _hot_.”�

“Wouldn’t mind a piece of _that_ pie,”� muttered Georgie.  “But anyway, you’re willing to take the plunge?  Go all in?  Save a broomstick, ride a wizard?  _Lose your lily?_ ”� she asked cheekily.

I rolled my eyes and turned to Kate, jabbing my thumb in Georgie’s general direction.  “Why am I friends with this girl?  Seriously, tell me why I’m friends with this girl, because I honestly couldn’t tell you.”�

Kate shrugged and made a face at something in the November issue of _Siren_.  “Because she gets us free magazines?”�

“And I get you guys into good parties over hols?”� asked Georgie.

“Because of her brother!”� chimed in Sophie, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Ooooh, _touché_ ,”� I said.  Sophie smiled graciously and took a bow.

“Oy, leave Connor out of this, you randy perverts!”� said Georgie hotly.  “And besides.  You lot know that he’d never _date_ any one of you.  First of all, it’s _illegal_ and _pedophilistic_ , and secondly, it’d be like dating his little sister.”�

“Is pedophilistic even a word?”� I wondered aloud.

Kate snorted.  “Oh please.  It’s all about objective appreciation.  We’ve all fancied Connor at one point or another, and he bloody well knows it.”�

“Exactly.  You can look, but you can’t touch,”� I said.  I put on the last touches of mascara and stood up straight.  “All right, G Vance.  On y va, andiamo, vamos, etc etc.”�

“So where’s this party again?”�

***

“Bloody fuck.  Could they have chosen a more _fucking_ random spot?”� swore Georgie.

I climbed one more step and then collapsed, panting on the staircase with Georgie plopping down next to me.  I shrugged and shook my hair out of my face.  “We just have like, two or three more corridors to go.  But Merlin, I know what you mean.  I don’t think I’ll be able to make it there.”�

“You know what?  I know just what we need,”� said Georgie, pulling her wand out of her waistband, where her wand fit perfectly into the curve of her back.  She muttered an incantation, sucked on the tip of her wand as it glowed blue and closed her eyes.  Keeping her eyes closed, Georgie rolled her neck and then passed her wand to me.

I whispered the magic words and sucked on the tip of her wand, immediately being shot with energy.  My mind’s eye exploded with colour and a tingling feeling began to spread throughout my body, starting at the tips of my toes.

“Okay, let’s go,”� said Georgie breathlessly.  She got up and then heaved me up with her.

“Gee, mister.  You’re strong,”� I said, giggling and stumbling after Georgie.

Within what seemed like minutes and swirls of colour later, loud obnoxious music reached our ears and even more obnoxious people danced into our line of vision.

“Lily,”� someone growled into my ear.  I was spun around and immediately felt a body pressed up against mine, grinding to the beat.

“Natie!”� I squealed, tilting my head up to find his mouth.

“Let’s get a drink, shall we?”� said Nate a couple of songs later, leading me away to a table laden with every alcoholic beverage you’d ever dream of.

We made our way through the crowd of about 60 people all jammed into a sparsely lit abandoned classroom, charmed to be soundproof.  It’s about 1,000 degrees in here and it’s impossible to move without touching someone.

Nate handed me a plastic cup filled with what looked like Absinthe and took a cup for himself.  I pulled my wand out of my pocket and stirred my drink with it before bringing it to my lips, whispering the incantation and sucking on the tip.  I raised my cup to Nate in a salute and swallowed its contents.

The combination of the spell and the alcohol was incredible.  I felt as light as a feather, floating in a swirl of being happy and giddy and excited about anything and everything.  Everything has a halo of colour surrounding it, Billy Idol wasn’t so obnoxiously loud and most importantly, I felt _free_.  I was free from the worries of a Prefect, free from the worries of a 6th year choosing what she wanted to do for the rest of her life, free from the insecurities of a 16 year old girl and free from the perfect preppy straight-laced image that I have to uphold.

“You okay, Lily?”� yelled Nate into my ear.

I nodded and reached up to pull his face down to mine.  I can never get enough of his kisses.  When he touches me, I feel an explosion erupting from his fingertips.  His very presence sends tingles up and down my spine and makes me feel like I’m floating on a cloud.  No, I can’t break up with him.  Nate’s just too good to be true.

Our lips parted and I’m pretty sure I had stars in my eyes.

“You’re incredible, Lily.  I don’t want you to ever forget that,”� said Nate, his forehead pressed against mine.

I smiled and kissed his neck as a slow song came on.  “I don’t want you to leave this year,”� I said and buried my face in his neck, pulling him closer to me as if it would keep him from graduating in June.

“Oh, love.  I promise I’ll visit you as often as I can.  And then after you graduate, you can move in with me.  My parents told me that they’re going to get me a flat as my graduation gift and so far I don’t have a roommate.”�

My stomach dropped.  I lifted my head off of his chest and looked straight up into his eyes, green and deep and full of hope.  I stared at him.  I stared and I stared and I stared.  This boy, this perfect boy wants _me_ to move in with him after we’ve both graduated from school.  He wants to continue a relationship with me even though there will definitely be tons of girls throwing themselves at him during our year apart.  “That sounds fantastic,”� I said breathlessly.

Someone tapped Nate on the shoulder and we stepped apart from each other as much as we could in the tiny space to see who came to talk.

James.

I quickly took my wand out of my pocket and sucked on it and closed my eyes, hoping that it was all just an illusion.  When I opened them again, he still stood there.  His hair looked windblown and he wore jeans and a light blue button down, carelessly unbuttoned at the top and with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“May I cut in?”� he asked Nate.

“Potter!  Er, yeah.  Sure, why not?”� said Nate, rather uncomfortably.  I noticed that he had a rather large…bulge in his pants that made me giggle.  “Find me after,”� murmured Nate, after kissing me.

I nodded and sucked at the tip of my wand again and looked at James, waiting for him to do or say anything.  He didn’t.

“What are you doing here?  I thought only 7th years were invited,”� I said, swaying slightly in my shoes.  Contrary to what I felt an hour ago, the volume of the room escalated exponentially and the halos of colour became splashes of neon green and yellow, the people leaving a rainbow trail whenever they moved.  I felt dizzy.  I felt invigorated.

“I was about to ask you the same thing,”� said James in a low voice, raising an eyebrow.  He stepped closer to me and put his hands around my waist.

I looked straight into his eyes and began to move my hips to the tribal music that had been playing and dared him to keep up.  If there’s one thing that I pride myself with apart from my academic abilities, it’s that I can dance.  I can dance all night long and not get tired.  It’s something that I’ve been doing since I was like 3 years old.  Always dancing.

James held my gaze and followed my movements, but quickly established his dominance.  The halos began to swell and merge as we moved as one and the beating of the drums and my heart pounded in my ears.  I shut my eyes and just concentrated on the movements of the person clutching my hips, with his breath hot on my neck and his body pressed so sensually against mine.

I tore myself away from James’s grasp gasping, and immediately the intense pounding died down in my ears.  I couldn’t take it anymore; I couldn’t bear to hold on to James any longer.  Some time after the song ended, I was hit with a jolt of electricity that went through my entire body when he pulled me closer to him.  I pushed him away and stumbled through the crowd, looking for the tall blonde boy with sea green eyes.

I somehow found Nate amongst the throng of people, having an animated conversation with Jared and a familiar looking girl on one of the couches squeezed into the room.

“All right, Lily?”� asked Jared, noting my presence.

Nate put his cup down and took in my disheveled appearance.  “Let’s get you home, hm?”� he said, and began to guide me out of the room.

I felt my chest tightening and I clutched his hand as I continuously took in deep breaths, trying to regain my lost air.

Once outside, Nate sat me down on a flight of stairs and held my face in his hands.  “How many spells did you take, love?”�

I tried to focus my eyes on his, but whenever I blinked, they’d get all clouded over again and I’d see rainbows sparkling and moving behind him.  I shook my head and looked down.  “I don’t know.  Maybe 4 or 5?”�

“Lily,”� said Nate softly, pleadingly.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  “And what’d you drink?”�

“I’m not quite sure.  All I remember is that Absinthe that you got me at the beginning of the party and I think a cup of firewhisky, but I’m not sure.”�

“Do you have your inhaler with you?”�

I shook my head.  “I didn’t think I’d need it.”�

“Lily, you have to slow down or else you’ll kill yourself,”� said Nate, standing up and gathering me in his arms, despite my protests.  “After all of that, I don’t trust you to be able to walk on your own.  Especially in those shoes of yours.”�

“What’s wrong with my shoes?”� I asked, raising my leg and raising my trouser leg to admire my pointy toed, high-heeled bright green shoes.  “I like my shoes,”� I said, pouting and suddenly squealing as he hooked an arm behind my knees and supported my back with the other.

“Your shoes, my darling, will cause you to fall and break your ankle.  Now, let’s get you to bed.”�

…..  
 _Welcome to the jungle_  
We take it day by day  
If you want it you’re gonna bleed  
But it’s the price you pay   
…..

A/n: As you may have noticed, there were some drug references earlier and it’s a magical drug that I made up.  You have to understand that they’re 16/17 in the 80’s, so there’s bound to be drug use.  Even nowadays there’re drugs in parties, so whatever.  No big.

Now, let me explain my time frame.  So I’m going by how old Harry is in the books and saying that right now, Harry’s 17 (basing it on the end of book 6), so he was born in 1988.  Then Lily was born in 1964 and James in late 1963, so therefore they were 24 when they had Harry.  And therefore they’d be 41/42 if they were still alive.  My way of thinking is that Lily and James had to get their careers and jobs sorted out and settled in before they started a family.  I know that JKR had it so that Harry was born in 1980, and Lily and James married straight out of school, but it’s easier clothing- and music-wise if Lily and James’s time was during an era that I’m more familiar with.  Artistic license, and all that.


	7. Blemished Perfection

Chapter Seven: Blemished Perfection  
 _(Chapter’s Song: ‘Such Great Heights’ by Iron and Wine)_

_Twirling, spinning, melting, joining. The world tilts and whirls around me in bewildering swirls of vibrant colour. Red, green, orange, blue... The music escalates, crescendos and swells into the beating of drums, pounding, pounding, pounding in my ears. The temperature rises and I begin to take notice of the bodies all around me, pressing, grinding, dancing to the beat. Another spell and my world erupts with dizzying patterns, a kaleidoscope of triangles, blues and greens, diamonds and squares..._  
 _At the blink of an eye, the delicate world of glass and colour shatters and the spell is broken. I’m left cold and alone, looking for something–anything–to anchor me and keep me from spinning away into oblivion._  
  
“Lily, what’s a three letter word that accompanies ‘Lumos’?”� Remus asked, halting my progress.

“Nox,”� I said, putting my quill in my book and closing it.

“Oh, right,”� said Remus, scribbling the answer in the crossword of the Sunday _Prophet_.

I sighed and closed my eyes, tilting my face up towards the warmth of the sun. The days were getting colder, shorter and darker, approaching the end of one year and the beginning of a new. The gentle breeze flirted with my hair, sending stray pieces of it flitting over my face despite my earlier efforts of hair management via pins. I heard a clicking sound and opened my eyes to find Remus putting his camera down.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Taking pictures?”� I asked rhetorically.

Remus shrugged. “I thought that you looked really pretty just then. For the scrapbook, you know,”� he said, reminding me of the Gryffindor scrapbook that gets made every year. He lay back down and picked up the _Prophet_ , continuing the puzzle. He frowned at a question and then looked up at me, sensing my gaze. “Spoken to James since the party?”�

“No,”� I sighed, lying down with his stomach as my pillow. “It’s been what, three days since? He’s been avoiding me, I can tell. But for what? The only thing that I did was that I stopped dancing with him. He needs to get over himself.”� I also had a minor panic attack in my inner monologue, but no one needs to know that…

“Lily, you walked out on him.”�

“There was nothing to walk out on! The song ended and I went to go and find my boyfriend. There’s nothing wrong with that at all!”� I argued, gesticulating with my hands.

“Well, I still think that you should at least talk to him. He’s really upset,”� said Remus, dipping his quill into the inkwell balanced on his chest.

I rolled my eyes. “Not my fault he’s a pansy,”� I grumbled and blew some hair out of my face.

“Lily,”� said Remus again, but this time his voice had an edge of warning to it.

“What? Stop ‘Lily’ing me! And you’re _so_ not a comfy pillow,”� I said, poking his stomach, or lack thereof. “You need to fatten yourself up. This board that my head is on is no place for a lady.”�

Remus rubbed the spot where I had jabbed him with my finger, laughing and causing my head to rise up and down. “I like the way I am, thank you very much.”�

We lapsed into a comfortable silence, broken only now and then with the scratching of Remus’s quill. Uncommonly bright and sunny for an October day, Remus and I decided to venture outside and take advantage of the glorious sun and moderate temperature. He brought his crossword, a weekly routine of his, and I brought my notebook, intending to scribble down some new prose or sketch Remus doing his puzzle.

“Remus?”�

“Hm?”�

“Why are you so perfect?”� I asked, altering my position so that I could get a glimpse of my friend.

Remus laughed softly and occupied his hands with my hair. “I’m far from it, love. I can’t even hold something silver without burning my skin, for fuck’s sake. You know that. Anyway, what made you ask? You’re smarter than that.”�

I shrugged and closed my eyes. “You just always know exactly what to say and always know exactly how to act. You’re perfect,”� I said again, stating it simply. “And then on the other hand, there’s _me_ , who rambles on and on about absolutely nothing and can’t seem to know when to stop. One would think that I’m locked up all day long in an attic, like Bertha Mason or something, and that’s why I always start rambling. Because I’m cooped up in a bloody _attic_ all day long and I start talking as much as I can whenever I have the chance. See? Listen to me now. Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”�

Remus sighed and I felt him shake his head. “I’ll never be able to understand you, Lily. You’re a crazy girl.”�

“I’m a _romantic,_ is what I am. Although I don’t know what I’d say to my Mr. Rochester, since he’ll end blind and all,”� I said, grinning as Remus snorted. I began humming softly to myself as I played with a lock of hair and felt a shadow fall on me, blocking the warmth of the sun.

“Hey Prongs,”� said Remus lazily. “And with ‘knotgrass,’ my friends, I have finished this week’s crossword in exactly 27 minutes. Not bad. Not bad at all.”�

“Lily, can I have a word?”� asked James a bit tersely.

“Mate, I don’t know if you’re willing to talk to this nutter. Keeps raving about some fictional character, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she started foaming at the mouth,”� warned Remus. “Or if one of the Brontë sisters suddenly appeared and demanded that her characters enjoy lives without slander,”� he added as an afterthought.

“It’s rather important,”� insisted James as I slapped Remus’s leg.

I opened one eye and saw James looking at me with a peculiar eye. “Yeah sure,”� I said, getting up. “I’ll see you later, you insufferable git,”� I said and patted Remus’s stomach goodbye.

I got to my feet and followed James as he began walking towards the lake, which was sparkling and reflecting the bright sunlight in its calm waters. We walked for several minutes in absolute and utter silence and I began to wonder if James was doing this because he thinks that I need more exercise.

I saw James open his mouth and take several breaths out of my peripheral, but he still didn’t say anything.

“Cat got your tongue, Potter?”� I asked rather harshly.

“I- er… No,”� he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Sorry, that was really bitchy of me.”�

James released a forced laugh and began to fuss with his hair. “Yeah, it was.”�

I bit my lip and we continued walking in silence, much to my chagrin.

James suddenly burst into a deep, loud laugh and I looked up at him questioningly.

“You know, Lily. This would be so much easier if you weren’t so infuriatingly attractive,”� said James, a gentle smile on his face.

“Pardon?”� I said, raising an eyebrow.

“You heard me. You’re too damn sexy for your own good. If it weren’t for that, we never would’ve danced the way we did that night and it wouldn’t be so hard for me to come up and talk to you,”� said James, bringing his hand down from his hair and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, well excuse me,”� I said sarcastically. “But look who’s talking, Mr. Quidditch Captain and Sex God Extraordinaire. You’re not exactly the most approachable  
bloke yourself.”�

James smirked. “‘Sex God Extraordinaire,’ eh? Glad that you think so highly of my  
abilities–I mean, I must be _that_ brilliant if you’ve never even seen me without a shirt.”�

“In your bloody dreams, Potter. And besides, I believe the stalls of the girls’ loo say otherwise…”� I said, grinning at him. “Anyway, my so called ‘sexiness’ has never been an issue for you. Why start now?”� I asked, as we began to take the beaten path to the Quidditch pitch.

“Because…because it was never really a problem before.”�

“And it is now?”�

James looked at me out of the corner of his eye as he motioned for me to enter the pitch before him. “Well, let’s just say that I always thought of you as a pretty girl. But now, all of a sudden, you’re this incredibly sexy, confident _woman_ and you…”� trailed off James, his hand once again in his hair.

I looked down at my clothes and wondered if James was all right in the head. Okay, so my boobs grew a little bit over the summer, but they’re still nothing to sneeze at. And my hipbones don’t jut out as much as they used to, but what’s this load of codswallop about me becoming _confident_ and _womanly_? “And…”� I prompted James.

He let out a laugh and collapsed into one of the folding chairs. “You intimidate me, Lily. You’re fucking intimidating and I’m not quite sure I can just toss it up to hormones.”� James looked at me and his eyes immediately took over every fleeting thought that passed through my mind. His wonderful, incredible eyes dominated me. I got lost in this sea of the most unique golden brown that I’ve ever seen, dusted with specks of blue and green. My stomach fluttered.

I blinked and looked at his nose. “Okay, hold on. Am I missing something? Is this really coming from one of the most confident and arrogant blokes in this school?”�

James leaned back and draped his arms over the backs of the chairs on either side of him. “Yeah, it is. And arrogant? Don’t you think that that’s pushing it? If you had said conceited, fine, I can see where that might be coming from, but not arrogant. Which reminds me–can you clarify a little something for me, Lily? Last year left something of a bad taste in my mouth.”�

I nodded and propped my feet up on the chair in front of me. “Yeah, go for it.”�

James cleared his throat uncomfortably and his hand wound itself into his hair again. “Last year you, er, called me ‘an arrogant, bullying toerag,’ and you said…you said that I make you sick. Is that-? Are you-?”�

I laughed and patted his knee. “James, you’re just too cute. Do you honestly think that I meant every single word?”� I asked, scooting a little closer to him and resting my elbows on my knees.

James looked down and rubbed the back of his neck, blushing. “Erm. Maybe?”�

I smiled and giggled a little bit. “Okay James, look. Come on, look at me,”� I moved towards  
the front of my chair and lifted James’s chin to look me in the eye, his cheeks still pink.

“Last year, you were incredibly arrogant. You basically thought that you were the shit. Okay wait, you still think that you are, but…”�

“Just keep twisting the knife, Evans.”�

“Right. Sorry. Anyway, last year, we had just come out of our first O.W.L., right, and I was so stressed out that you wouldn’t even _imagine_ and then you decided to completely humiliate Snape in front of the entire school! Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no huge fan of his, but just put yourself in his position. How would you feel?”�

James snorted. “I’d wash my hair and stop locking myself in my room with my wand and a bunch of Dark Magic books. I’d also grow a pair,”� he mused after a little while.

“James,”� I said pleadingly and rolled my eyes, “come on. But anyway, the fact that you decided to pick on Snape for no reason whatsoever ticked me off. It also wasn’t really the best of days for girl reasons, if you know what I mean.”�

“Oh, Lily! Gross! I did NOT need to know that,”� said James, shutting his eyes and digging the heels of his hands into them.

I laughed. “Hey, you asked for it, and Remus _did_ warn you. But anyway, to make the long story short, no. I don’t still think of you as an ‘arrogant, bullying toerag.’ Yes, I still think that you’re arrogant, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s a part of you and there’s nothing I can do to change that. Anyway, I need to go and meet the girls, but good talk! Ciao, darling,”� I said, and patted his cheek.

“Hey Lily!”� shouted James, just as I was about to exit the pitch.

“Yeah?”� I said, turning around.

“Thanks.”�

“No problem,”� I said, smiling.

***

“Happy birthday, Kavs!”� I squealed, hugging her and giving her a kiss. “Sorry I’m late, I got held up.”� I took a biscuit and some bits of cheese off the plate in the middle and went to sit down.

My roommates and Adam sat on a blanket set up under a chestnut tree by the lake, celebrating my best friend’s birthday and sharing gossip as the customary celebration of aging another year.

“Hey there! What’ve you been up to?”� I asked as I sat down next to Adam, giving him a side hug and stuffing the biscuit into my mouth.

“Nothing really, although I do believe this girl is in need of seventeen birthday spankings. What about you?”� asked Adam, his eyes glittering.

I shrugged with exaggerated nonchalance. “Just the usual. Seducing boys, getting good marks, dancing on tables… You know the drill.”�

“And here I was, thinking you were the quiet one of the group,”� said Adam laughing.

“Anyway, as I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted,”� said Grace, shooting me a glare, to which I responded by raising my goblet, “I was in the Library when I heard a moan and sounds that _definitely_ aren’t made when studying, if you know what I mean.”�

The girls and I instantly sat up while Adam snaked his arm around Kate’s waist and softly kissed her cheek.

“Who was it?”� whispered Georgie.

“Oh my god, you’ll never believe it. You will _never_ believe it,”� said Grace, practically glowing from this piece of gossip.

“Just spit it out, you cow!”� said Kate impatiently.

“Benjamin Hayes was snogging _Catherine Townshend!_ ”�

We all gasped, shocked that one of the most affectionate couples in Hogwarts was in troubled waters.

“Shut up!”� said Georgie. “But what about Isabelle? Does she know about this?”�

“Obviously not, you twat. Why the hell would she know about it?”� said Sophie.

“Merlin, what a bastard. Isabelle’s the sweetest girl, I can’t believe that he’d cheat on her,”� I said, shaking my head.

“Isn’t that unbelievable? I told you that it was worth it,”� said Grace, looking every bit like the cat that got the canary.

“When the fuck was this?”� demanded Georgie.

“Just about half an hour ago.”�

“Shut up!”� said Georgie, smacking her again.

“Georgina, stop abusing her,”� said Kate serenely.

“Well girls, as fun as it is to hear you lot just go ‘stop it’ and ‘shut up,’ I have a Defence essay to complete that I’ve been putting off for far too long,”� said Adam, looking a smidge  
uncomfortable. He leaned over and kissed Kate.

“Oooooh,”� chorused Sophie and I, with Grace whistling and Georgie yelling ‘get a room!’ as she threw a pack of butter at them.

It was silent as we all watched Adam get up and make his way to the castle, the whole scandal already forgotten.

“So,”� said Sophie, breaking the silence. “How is it?”�

Four heads turned to look at her.

“What do you mean?”� asked Kate.

“How is _he?_ ”� I said, instantly cottoning on.

“He’s fine. You just saw him, you ignoramus,”� said Kate, but turning pink.

“You know what we mean, smartarse,”� said Georgie. “There’s no use hiding it, we know that you’ve done it already.”�

“Okay fine,”� said Kate, blushing even more. We all moved in to make a closer circle. “It’s…It’s great. It’s everything that it’s ever been rumoured to be. And Adam is, well…you know.”�

I grinned. “No Katie, we don’t know. Enlighten us,”� I said, knowing full well what she meant.

Kate groaned. “Well endowed,”� she whispered, her face now bright red. “I hate you.”�

Georgie let out a whoop and started cackling evilly.

“Am I interrupting something?”� a very male voice suddenly asked.

We all jumped and looked at James, leaning against a tree. And since he was standing, I had to look up from where I had fallen over on the ground in surprise and my eyes had to pass a certain…part of him first. All I can say is, god bless shorts and tall boys.

“No!”� said Kate fiercely.

“Okay,”� said James, smirking. “I just came to collect Georgina. Be at the pitch in five minutes, or else be prepared to do laps, Vance. _On foot_.”� He turned and left and I lay transfixed, staring at the spot that he just left unoccupied.

Georgie cleared her throat and looked around at us. “Right, well. Best be off then. I’ll catch up with you girls later. And I want _details_.”�

*** 

I pushed the door open, shivering slightly at the brisk November wind, and was relieved to find the courtyard empty. I picked my way over stone benches and plopped onto an old and dilapidated wooden lawn chair, reaching into my pocket for the cool glass of my pipe.

_“Nate, can I talk to you for a second?”� I asked, approaching him in his common room._

_“Yeah, sure,”� said Nate, leading me out of the Ravenclaw tower. “What’s up?”�_

_“Right.”� I cleared my throat. “Right. So… We haven’t seen each other in two weeks. At all. Not in between classes or even at meals. We’ve both been busy with work and other stuff and I understand that.”�_

_I looked up at Nate and took in his somewhat defeated stance, leaning against the wall with his head bowed._

I took my lighter out and lit the bowl, inhaling and savouring the sweet taste.

_“Anyway, I think that…I think that we should stop seeing each other. Or at least take a break until things die down and we have more time for each other.”�_

_Nate nodded and opened his eyes. I was so incredibly relieved to see that he wasn’t angry or hurt. “Lily, I completely agree with you. You also have to admit that it’s not like we didn’t see it coming… But I want you to know that I’m always here and my door’s always open if you, you know, want to get back together.”�_

_“Right,”� I said, nodding vigorously. “The same for me. And I really don’t want things to be awkward between us.”�_

_“Yes, of course,”� said Nate. He stood up properly and wrapped me in his arms._

_“I love you,”� I whispered against his chest._

_“Me too, Lily. I’ll always love you,”� said Nate._

_We kissed one last, heart-wrenching kiss before he turned and disappeared through the entrance of Ravenclaw Tower._

I took a few more hits, inhaling a lungful each time. One by one, the day’s stresses slowly fell away into a dark recess in my mind and I settled against the chair, completely and _totally_ relaxed.

Lessons were _awful_ today. The Potions test was uncommonly hard and I doubt I’ll even manage an Acceptable. I couldn’t concentrate at all during the Charms in-class writing and I nearly botched my practical Transfiguration test.

Not to mention Nate. I closed my eyes and inhaled again. I thought that breaking up with Nate wouldn’t do anything to me, that I’d just accept it and move on. Nate will always be the first person who took my breath away and made me weak in the knees, but as we saw each other less and less, the flame died down and he wasn’t the most important thing in my life anymore. But now that we’re officially…broken up, I feel as though a large chunk of me has suddenly evaporated. Last year, Nate was the reason why I looked forward to waking up in the morning. I always knew that no matter how shitty my day was, sometime later we’d end up in an empty classroom or a broom cupboard snogging and having a good time. But now…all of that’s gone. And despite the fact that _I_ was the one who broke up with him, _I’m_ the one feeling abandoned and lost.

I slumped against the back of my chair. Of course. How could I have been so _stupid?_ Did I really fancy myself to be in love? I’ve seen what true love is like. It’s not all about breathtaking actions and outstandingly romantic moments. It’s about complete trust and getting through hard times together. It’s about believing in the connection between you and that other person, believing in it so much that you would go through any lengths to preserve and uphold it. True love is utterly, maddeningly, frightening, to say the least.

It’s having your heart ache when you’re not with that person. It’s worrying all the time about his safety, his wellbeing, the wellbeing of his family and everything and every _one_ that he loves. Because you know that if they’re important enough to be so closely affiliated with him, they’re worth knowing and loving too.

I didn’t have any of that with Nate. We didn’t have complete trust. We’ve never met each other’s families. Fuck, we didn’t even _try_ to make things work. The ‘break up’ was so neat  
and surgical that it doesn’t even feel real. We didn’t even _contact each other_ over the summer. What kind of ‘true love’ bollocks is that? And the only reason why I was able to say ‘I love you’ to him was because I _didn’t mean it_. They were just pretty words with half of my heart behind them.

I took another hit and stared blankly out at the sky, allowing myself to give into the pull of the weed and forget all thought and feeling and just _be_ for the moment.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that someone was here. I’ll just be on my way out then.”�

I jumped and turned around to see someone backing out the door. I squinted. “ _Sirius?_ No, no, come in. It’s a public place, isn’t it? Besides, I can use the company.”�

Sirius turned around and my heart clenched when I looked up at his face. No girl can resist that feeling when you look at Sirius Black. His dark, dark brown hair fell into dark, dark blue eyes ever so elegantly. His strong jaw line made so many girls go weak in the knees, his Roman nose giving him an air of majesty and power. And let’s not forget his lips. I can’t say that I’ve never wondered what it would feel like to have those perfect lips brush my own, without lying.

“Are you sure?”� asked Sirius hesitantly, his hand still resting on the doorjamb.

I nodded and gestured for him to come and sit, pulling the other lawn chair closer to me so that we could talk.

Sirius sat and pulled an engraved silver cigarette holder and an ashtray out of his school trousers’ pocket. “Want one?”� he asked, holding the case out to me.

I shook my head. “No thanks, I’m good,”� I said, holding up my bowl. “But don’t tell Kate. She’ll go spare if she finds out that I haven’t quit like I told her.”�

Sirius nodded and blew out a stream of smoke, the pearly grey mists and his deep blue eyes creating the portrait of a tragically handsome troubled youth. He leaned his head against the slope of the chair and closed his eyes.

I swallowed and looked down at my hands, fidgeting with my lighter.

“So. Lily Evans,”� said Sirius lazily.

“Mmm?”� I said noncommittally.

“How are you? We’ve never really spoken properly before, have we?”�

I shook my head. “Can’t say that we have, Sirius Black.”� I took another hit and let its effects flood me as I leaned back against the chair, practically melting into the wood.

“Can you keep a secret?”� asked Sirius.

“Depends on what it is. I can’t help you if you have to stash a body, although I’m quite sure that Georgina might be able to point you to a nondescript broom cupboard.”�

“What if I told you that I’ve been harbouring feelings for you since second year?”� asked Sirius, his blue eyes trained on mine, smoothly ignoring my farce.

I started coughing on the smoke that I had just inhaled and looked at him with bleary eyes. “Are you high?”� I spat out bits of weed that had flown into the back of my throat when I heard his question.

Sirius smirked. “No. But you are.”�

“Touché.”�

“But really, what would you say?”� asked Sirius earnestly, leaning forward in his chair.

“I’d ask you if you were dropped as a baby, if your best friend knows, and if you’re joking.”�

“Well, yes, I _was_ dropped as a child,”� said Sirius darkly, “my best mate _wouldn’t_ know, and I _am_ joking.”�

I smirked. “You were dropped as a child? That explains a lot of things.”�

“No, it doesn’t. My magic protected me and I landed on my feet,”� said Sirius, blowing a smoke circle at my face. He ran a hand through his hair and one could almost think that he and James were brothers.

“Well, aren’t you just special?”� I said sarcastically and took another hit, my eyes smarting as the sweet smoke flew back into my face.

“No, I’m disowned.”�

I blinked at the absurdly honest confession, my mind reeling and trying to find solid ground. “What?”�

Sirius shrugged. “I ran away from home this summer. My mother didn’t even care to send out a search party and my father just owled me the rest of my belongings and some gold. Then they disowned me.”�

“Why are you telling me this?”� I asked, completely shocked. James really wasn’t taking a piss when he said that Sirius had some issues at home. All of a sudden, the golden image I had of Sirius dimmed slightly. He had slipped off of his marble pedestal and he’s no longer this perfect, otherworldly deity who needs to be worshipped or have virgin maidens sacrificed for. I smiled. Now I can relate to him.

Sirius shrugged. “You seem like a cool bird. Prongs wasn’t kidding when he said that there’s more to you than you let on. And another thing. What’s with the bowl? Why would _you_ need it?”�

“Because I’m human too. I almost failed the Potions test, I botched Charms and Transfiguration, and I just broke up with my boyfriend. Besides, everyone needs an escape…”� I said, nodding towards the cigarette filter dangling from his long fingers. “This is mine. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, though. I haven’t even told Kate.”�

“You seem to hide a lot of things from your best mate.”�

“I-”� I started, but then closed my mouth and frowned. “You’re right. What the hell is wrong with me?”�

Sirius shrugged. “You’re only realising that you don’t need to tell her everything.”�

“But you tell James everything,”� I argued.

“Nuh uh. Not true,”� said Sirius, shaking his head. He sighed and looked especially dashing as he took a long drag off what’s left of his cigarette.

I raised my eyebrows, surprised, but didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, we should go. It’s almost dinner and our friends are bound to be looking for us,”� said Sirius, getting up. He dropped his cigarette into the ashtray, which swallowed it. He held a hand out to me, which I took after blowing on the weed to put it out.

As we walked out of the abandoned courtyard together, I realised that I’ve told this virtual stranger things that someone who I’ve known personally for five and a half years doesn’t know about me, and I’m perfectly okay with that. I decided right then and there that I like Sirius. He puts me at ease, he’s under no pretence and he’s just so _not_ what I expected him to be (a total pompous arse), which just makes things so much better.

Sirius Black isn’t as perfect as he’s made out to be, but neither am I. Guess that that’s just one of the things that we have in common. That, and a newfound friendship and confidence.

_….._  
They will see us waving from such great heights  
“Come down now,”� they’ll say  
But everything looks perfect from far away  
“Come down now,”� but we’ll stay  
….. 

A/n: I just wanted to briefly address the concern about Lily’s drug habit that showed in some of last chapter’s reviews. I see how it would seem like Lily would be a very clean-cut girl, with her strong home base and her romantic ideals, but you have to remember that she’s a person, and that every person has a lot of different sides to them: different moods, different personas, different habits. Lily may be a good student, an almost-perfect daughter, and a good friend, but she’s also a teenager, which means that she likes to party and have fun with her boyfriend and experiment with things. You should also remember that Lily’s under an enormous amount of pressure to do well in school and to be perfect, and she’s bound to crack some time, or at least find a not-so-perfect way to deal with that stress. Also, everyone has skeletons in their closet. Lily’s drug habit (magic and Muggle) is just one of them in her very large closet. 


	8. Hogsmeade and The Letter

Chapter Eight: Hogsmeade and The Letter  
 _(Chapter's Song: Amie by Damien Rice)_

Remus grinned. "No, nothing so extravagant, although just to warn you, don't be surprised if a bag is suddenly thrown over your head and you start to smell roses and chocolates."

"But _Remus_ ," I chastised, throwing him an overly exaggerated look of surprise and horror, "you're going about it _completely_ wrong. A girl likes to be wooed with...with, er. Oh bollocks, I lost my train of thought. But really, what were you doing in there? Thank you," I said, as he held the door open for me.

"I couldn't concentrate in the dormitory because James kept on muttering to himself while coming up with new Quidditch plays and you know how I _hate_ working in the library and common room, so naturally, I went to the Room of Requirement. Nothing dramatic. Sorry Lily," apologised Remus

"Wet blanket," I muttered, and gently shoved Remus's shoulder.

We carried on with our walk in a comfortable silence and I let my mind drift towards balls and ribbons and gentlemen and Pemberley.

"Knut for your thoughts, space cadet?"

I turned and looked at Remus, having slightly forgotten that he was there. "Sorry," I said with an embarrassed smile. "I just started re-reading  Pride and Prejudice and you know how I get about that."

"Here we go," muttered Remus, making a show of bracing himself for what I was about to say.

I rolled my eyes. "Arse. I guess I won't tell you after all, hm?"

"Fine, then. What about Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy this time?" asked Remus.

I sighed and hitched my bag further up my shoulder. "Well, I was just thinking... Why can't there just be a Mr. Darcy? I mean honestly, is it really too much to ask for? All I want, really, _all I want_ is some obnoxious, pompous, ridiculously handsome bloke to come along and just prove me wrong so we can fall madly in love. Nothing would make me happier."

Remus stopped walking and I turned back around to find him staring at me with a peculiar look on his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Remus shook his head and then swatted at the air next to him. "Er," he said, and then stumbled forward.

"You're acting strangely," I tilted my head to the side and looked at him.

"Sorry. Momentary bout of clumsiness. But anyway, you and James have been pretty mate-ly  
recently."

I raised my eyebrows, decided that he'd gone mad, and then hooked my arm through his. "Okay, random, but I suppose you can say that," I said and pulled him towards the seventh floor corridor.

"He's a good bloke, Lily. Gets a bit full of himself every now and then, you know, arrogant and pompous sometimes, but he's truly a good person," said Remus, and then suddenly stumbled forward as though pushed.

"Remus, are you all right?" I caught him and he nodded. "You know, I used to think I hated him. "Actually, I definitely did, but now I can't really think of _why_. And I would've thought we'd have nothing in common and would never have anything to talk about, but last night, we spent literally _five hours_ just talking in the common room. It's peculiar, really. I never would've thought it possible."

"He never fails to surprise. Er, hang on a tick. Just need to get the room open," said Remus, and began walking back and forth in front of where the door to the Room of Requirement would be. "Actually, Lily, can you wait out here for two minutes? I don't know what state the room's in right now."

"All right," I shrugged, and leaned against the wall.

Remus disappeared into the room and popped his head back into the hallway after a couple of minutes. "It's safe for you to come in," he said, and then disappeared behind the door.

I pushed off the wall and cautiously entered the room, and then took a step back after being assaulted by the vibrancy of this place.

_Whoa._

Pictures lined one wall, one photograph over another, black and white, some yellowed with age, others in colour, all of them moving and containing at least one Gryffindor boy and/or a flash of writing. I stepped closer and scanned the mural that rivalled the one in my own dormitory, taking stock of the events: fourth year, right after Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup. Sirius and Peter with people who look like Peter's parents. James and a Labrador. All four of them sitting under _their tree_ by the lake. Remus's birthday party, James and Sirius, Remus and Sirius, James, Remus and Peter, brooms, food, pranks, a _deer_ , McGonagall, Dumbledore, Filch, Christmas trees, sleds, horses, the Gryffindor sixth year girls. All of these were captured in moving photographs that spiralled and weaved, encompassing the entire wall like colourful silk thread in a rich tapestry.

I forced myself to look away from the dizzying photographs and took in the rest of the room. A couple of bookshelves, each filled to the brim lined the wall closest to me. The shelves were completely full, some of the books even horizontally wedged in to fit; all of them spell books about advanced Transfiguration, Potions, and Charms. Quidditch periodicals and official team books also lined the shelves, along with old Zonko's catalogues and various mail-order forms.

"What _is_ this place?" I asked, turning to Sirius, Remus and Peter. The three of them sat around a large, square mahogany table piled high with scraps of parchment, spell books and Quidditch magazines.

"Our room," said Peter. "We like to call it The Fort. Normally, the rules state no girls allowed, but you're an exception because we like you and you don't have the cooties.

"Gave myself the cootie shot as often as I could when I was a wee lass," I said solemnly. I eyed Sirius's filthy hands, covered in various colours of ink. "What've you lot been up to?"

"Sketching," said Sirius noncommittally with a cheeky grin. "I finished the towers," he told Remus.

"When do you think you'll be done?"

Sirius looked at Peter and shrugged. "What say you, mate of mine? Another week?"

Peter shook his had. "Another four days, at most."

"What the bloody hell are you _on_ about?" I asked. But before any of them could answer, James burst through the door like a whirlwind of black hair and glasses.

"Mates, I've got it! I was about to sneak the book out, but some Dungbombs fell out of my pocket and exploded when I was trying to shove the book into my robes, so I had to run. Anyway, I have the spell memorized, so it won't be a problem. However, I would like to announce that I am _officially_ in the lead," said James, brandishing a piece of parchment.

The other three boys groaned while James gloated and levitated the parchment to a wall and stuck it under his name. 'James Potter' was immediately illuminated and 342 became 343.

I raised my eyebrows.

"Wall of Fame. We've kept track of the number of detentions we've gotten since first year, and whomever has the most at the end of next year gets treated to a Quidditch match and dinner," explained Remus.

"Oh, how romantic. That sounds like a lovely date," I said, grinning.

The five of us stood there rather stupidly just smiling at each other, until Peter sneezed.

"You know, I'm actually going to go. I'd promised Georgie I'd meet her at Gryffindor before going down to dinner. James, we're still on for the Potions project later, right?" I asked, jerking to life.

James nodded. "At the back of the library with the squishy chairs, yeah?"

"Exactly. I'll see you lot at dinner," I said, and exited The Fort. I rolled my eyes as I walked back to Gryffindor. Honestly, of all the names...

 

* * *

 

"Hullo. Sorry I'm late. I went for a fly and lost track of the time," said James, tugging at my hair as I raised my feet to let him pass. "What're you up to?"

"I finished researching half of the ingredients I'm supposed to look up. Then I decided that I couldn't be arsed with any more work, so I'm writing a letter to one of my mates back home."

James looked closely at me. "What''s up with you? You're all twitchy."

"Couldn't fall asleep last night until almost five in the morning after we left the common room, so I've been drinking coffee all day. My hands won't stop shaking," I said, nodding at the cup on the table next to my feet. "I also have _the worst_ crick in my neck from sitting up all night."

"Budge over," commanded James, standing up.

"What?"

"Just sit on the floor."

I obliged and felt James sit down behind me, pulling me back to rest against his legs.

"What are you-? _Oh_ ," I sighed, as James's fingers began to work at the knots in my back. His long, skilful fingers danced across my shoulders and down the length of my spine, kneading and rubbing at sore muscles. "You're brilliant."

James chuckled behind me. "So tell me about this mate of yours. Is he or she a Muggle?"

I nodded. "Her name's Vittoria and she's basically my older sister. Her family moved into the  
house next door to mine when I was about two, I think. We're quite close. She was actually at the breakfast table when I got my Hogwarts owl."

"Is it weird for you, going back and forth between both worlds? I feel like my parents would't be able to know me very well if they don't and can't understand the other world," asked James.

"Not really," I shrugged. "I mean, there's always the feeling that I need to explain things to my dad so that he can appreciate the joke or the story, but for the most part, it's as normal as it can be, I guess. I tell Vittoria practically everything anyway and she's met Kate and Georgie, so really, the only difference between her and a Hogwarts student is that she can't do magic. Her whole family knows I'm a witch too, and I tell my dad virtually everything, so there isn't really a rift."

"I suppose you're lucky, that you can be so comfortable with them about your magic. And the Ministry's never said anything to you about telling Muggles about the Wizarding world?"

"Not that I know of. Besides, I feel like I'd get a warning or something if I actually did magic in front of them. That'd probably be a different story from simply telling them that I'm a witch, anyway. What about you, is your family separated at all like that?"

"Nope. The only barrier, really, is geographic. My uncle, my dad's older brother (my dad's the youngest) lives in France with his wife and two kids, Jack and Caroline. Then there's my Uncle Caleb, who lives in Wales, but he isn't married or has children or anything. That's all on my dad's side. My mum has a half brother who's quite a bit older than her, and he lives with his wife and daughter in Sweden," said James.

"Thank you," I said, and patted his hands as I got up to sit in the squashy chair next to him. "Anyway, half brother?"

James nodded. "My mum's half Swedish and half English. Her mum used to live in Sweden and was married to a wizard and had a son with him, but I guess it didn't work out because they got divorced and Gran moved to England, where she met my grandfather and then had my mum with him. Caused quite a bit of family drama, from what I understand."

"I'll bet. I don't really have any extended family. My mum has one brother, but he, my cousin Amy and Aunt Hope live in Hong Kong for Uncle Talton's job. And then on my dad's side, it's him and my Uncle Jack, but he never married either. Now that I think about it, he really gets around," I mused.

"They should become friends, our uncles. Swap bachelor stories together over a case of whiskey or something," said James. He pulled a book half-heartedly towards himself. "I'm not much in the mood for studying tonight."

"No, me neither. I don't really have anything to do, anyway. I've already finished that Defence essay that Knight gave us," I said, getting more comfortable in my chair. "Where do you live?" I asked randomly.

"Oh. I live in Kent, right outside of Canterbury. It's great, there's this brewery in town that the lads and I always go to when they're visiting over the holidays. I can't tell you how many times we've gotten pissed in town and somehow managed to stagger back to the house. There was this one time when Remus passed out in the front garden, which is really saying something since he could probably drink Hagrid under the table," said James.

I grinned. Funny, I never would have expected Remus to have such a high tolerance. But then again, if you think about it, I suppose it makes sense. Both Remus and Hagrid not being _quite_ human probably makes it harder to get them drunk. I do believe an experiment's in order... "So then we really don't live too far from each other. Small world, eh?" I asked. 

"Why, where do you live? Wait, let me guess. Essex?"

I shook my head. "No, but we have a house in the country there. Close, though."

"London, then," said James, and I nodded. "You must know where Sirius's family lives! Do you know where Grimmauld Place is?"

I shook my head again. "I've never heard of it. Maybe it's a Wizarding square? I'm in Kensington."

James shrugged. "Makes sense. His father placed every kind of cloaking charm and hex on the house. I would've been buggered if you _did_ know about it."

"I miss London," I sighed. "Smoggy, rainy, concrete jungle London. The best thing about it,  
really, is its convenience. Everything's just a drive or a walk away, and there's always something to do. To be honest, I get a bit bored around here sometimes."

" _Bored_? How can you be bored at Hogwarts? There are so many places to explore and hide and secret passages to find. I love it here, it's brilliant," sighed James happily.

"Oh, no, you definitely misunderstood me. I could wander around the castle for hours at a time and never get bored, although I think I might've found all of the passageways. What I meant was that every now and then, I miss the sounds and chaos of the city," I said. "And I think it'd be quite nice to see some unfamiliar faces every now and then. Make it seem less claustrophobic, I'd say."

"First, that can be easily remedied," said James, with a flick of his wand.

Immediately, I heard the familiar sounds of early morning traffic, the faint, faraway sound of a siren, and the shouts of drivers as they loaded and unloaded their trucks. The only thing missing was the smell of approaching rain.

"And second, I highly doubt you've found all of the secret passages of the castle," he said smugly.

"Oh _really_?" I said, sitting up for a challenge.

"Really. I bet you lunch in Hogsmeade tomorrow that you don't know every passage," said James, his eyes lighting up.

I narrowed my eyes. "Is this just a ploy to get me to go out with you, James Potter?"

James blushed. "Er, no. Just, you know, a wager. Two friends having lunch at the Three Broomsticks. Oh, wait. Are you, er, already going with anyone?"

"I told Nate I'd spend the morning with him, but he has to be back at the castle before lunch for Head duties anyway."

"I thought you weren't seeing him anymore?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, we aren't. But he asked me to go with him and we're friends, so I agreed. It really isn't that big of a deal. And besides, I'm not really...in the mood for a boyfriend right now."

"Well then brilliant. If I win, you have lunch with me tomorrow," grinned James, relaxing into the chair.

"And if I win, you don't unnecessarily hex anyone for a week. Including Snape."

James's mouth dropped open. "Come on now, how is that fair? If I win, I get lunch with you and if you win, I can't do something for a whole _week_? Rubbish. Two days."

"Three."

"Three days and dinner."

"Three days and doing homework together."

"Fine. Shake."

We shook hands and attempted to squeeze each other's fingers off, neither of us flinching or looking away. Finally, we relaxed and sat back in our chairs.

"How do you get to the kitchens?" I asked.

James snorted. "Easy. Go to the basement corridors near the Hufflepuff common room and tickle the pear in the portrait of the bowl of fruit. Give me five secret corridors to get to Gryffindor from the Transfiguration room."

James and I went back and forth for a decent chunk of time until he hit me with a question that I only knew half of the answer to. "What are the seven secret ways to get to Hogsmeade?" And the bastard had the audacity to give me a cheeky smile. Git knew I wouldn't be able to answer.

I scowled, knowing that I'd lost and that James had been waiting for this moment since the beginning of our wager. "I only know three. There's a tunnel behind the mirror in one of the empty classrooms on the eastern corridor of the fourth floor. There's the one-eyed witch with a hump that requires a password that leads you to the cellar in Honeydukes, and there's a really dodgy wall-that's-really-a-door entrance near the Slytherin common room that leads to the back of the Hog's Head."

"Unless my maths is wrong, I believe that that's only _three_ passages," said James, smiling at me so brightly that I felt like he was going to vomit sunshine and daisies.

"All right, fine. You win."

James beamed more brightly, if that's even possible. A leprechaun, a rainbow and his pot of sodding gold joined the pile of Wonderful. "Excellent. So we'll do lunch tomorrow. I'm paying."

I wrinkled my nose, upset at being bested. Hey, I never said I take _everything_ gracefully. "Then you'll only need a couple of knuts. I'll just have carrots."

"Carrots?" James laughed. "You can out-eat most girls in our year."

"Fine, then. Carrots and celery."

James raised his eyebrows. "Are you being purposely difficult or did you suddenly decide to become a rabbit?"

"I've always thought I'd turn into a cute, fluffy little bunny as my Animagus," I said, grinning.

"Seriously?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it."

"Really? I've always wanted to know. Ever since we learned about them," said James.

"All right, then. What would you turn into?" I asked, humouring him.

"A stag," he said confidently with a self-satisfied grin.

"Why are you so sure?" I asked, my eyes narrowed.

"The Library is now closed. Please gather all of your belongings," said Madam Pince, coming out of absolutely nowhere. James and I jumped, caught completely off guard.

"Good night, then," said James, and she walked away. "Anyway, just because. And a Marauder never gives away his secrets," he said.

I rolled my eyes, but thought about Animagi. What do I think I would turn into... "I think I'd turn into a fox," I said, after thinking about it carefully for a couple of minutes. I handed James my books to hold while I piled my hair into a bun on top of my head.

"A fox? Why?" James cocked his head and looked at me, probably trying to look for fox-ish qualities.

I shrugged. "They're smart, foxes are. And I'm smart. I'm good at school."

James snorted. "Yes, Lily. You're good at school."

"Shut up, deer boy," I said, and smacked his arm as he snorted again. "I don't know. A fox just popped into my mind and it felt right, I guess. Don't question."

"Fair enough," said James. "I'll accept that. But seriously, lunch tomorrow at the Three Broomsticks?"

I nodded. "Around one okay?"

"Sounds good," agreed James.

"Oy."

"Hm?"

"What _are_ all of the ways to Hogsmeade? And how do you know about them?" I asked, curious. It isn't just me being a sore loser. I'm honestly curious to see how he knows so much about the school.

James looked at me carefully, seeming to consider something in his mind. "All right, I'll tell you. But you can't tell anyone else."

I mimed zipping my lips shut. "Quiet as a mouse."

"Not even Kate or Georgie," warned James, and I nodded. When James seemed satisfied, he continued. "The lads and I are making a map."

"A map," I repeated. "How ambitious. Going where no cartographer has gone before."

"Hush, you. We're making a map of Hogwarts and it will be the most accurate thing you've ever seen. We've put a lot of work into it, too. Looked up all of the floor plans and everything that they have on the castle in the library and coupled that with our own searching and previous knowledge. It's taken quite a while to get it all together. We started March of last year and we're finally almost done," said James, a hint of pride in his voice.

"And who's drawing everything?" I asked as we ducked into a passageway that I'd never known about before. Sod him.

"Sirius. He and Peter reckon it'll be done in a couple of days," said James.

The boys' conversation in the Fort clicked into place. "He just finished the towers," I murmured, very impressed. "Why Sirius? And why a map?"

"Pads wants to be an architect and he's dead talented at doing floor plans. It was natural to give him the job of drawing while the rest of us explored. And the map, my dear, will be our greatest and cleverest brainchild. If you're a good girl, maybe you'll get to see it when it's done, but it's top secret," said James, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I noticed in the dim light that he has a spattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose.

"And if I'm not, you'll just keep the map between the four of you? I find it highly unlikely that you, of all people, would want to keep your 'greatest and cleverest brainchild' under wraps and not reap the glory that would surely come from sharing it with other people," I said.

James firmly shook his head. "It's much too important for stupid things like seeking recognition. Much too important."

I stopped and turned to look at him. "Then why are you telling me about it?"

James searched my face for a moment and then smiled. It was a rather nice smile, I must say. Not cocky or arrogant or mischievous or innocent looking. Just a simple smile meant only for me. "Because I trust you. Good night, Lily," he said, and briefly touched the small of my back before heading up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

There's definitely more to this map than he's letting on. And I'll be the Queen of England if I don't find out what it is.

 

* * *

 

"So you're still going to Hogsmeade with Adam?" I asked Kate.

Kate, Georgie and I stood in a corner in the entrance hall, waiting until we were allowed to leave the castle.

Kate nodded and Georgie and I both made faces.

"You're so much better than him, love. Just break it off with him and move on," said Georgie.

Kate sighed. "I would, but the shagging's really quite nice."

I rolled my eyes. "You're such a randy idiot, you know that?"

"Just because you haven't cashed your v-card in yet doesn't mean that the rest of us have to be celibate," she said. "The thing about sex is that once you start, it's kind of really hard to stop. And besides, even if I were to break it off with him right now, what would I do in Hogsmeade? Hang around you and Nate, Lily? Or Georgina and her mysterious date?"

"Fair point," I said, and turned toward Georgie with narrowed eyes. "Who _are_ you going with?"

Georgie shook her head. "Not telling," she squeaked, her cheeks turning a bit pink.

Kate and I looked at each other. "You know, you're only piquing our interest more by not telling us. And we're going to find out eventually when you meet up with him to walk to the village."

The large group of people milling about began to move towards the front doors, and Georgie desperately looked around her. "Who's to say it's a 'he'?" she asked, grinning cheekily at us.

"Because if you're a lesbian, we'd definitely know about it. And you wouldn't drool all over Fabian Prewett whenever you"re-"

"Shut up," she hissed, clapping her hand over my mouth. "You don't see me telling my _brother_ that the two of you are mad for him."

"We are not!" said Kate indignantly.

"Oh yes you are," countered Georgie.

"Okay, look," I said, sensing trouble. "We all fancy Connor. There's no doubt about that. You know it and he knows it, even though we've all gotten past it. The difference between us and Connor Vance and you and Fabian Prewett is that you could act on it if you wanted. We never would, and it isn't just a matter of loyalty to you, George. It's more of it simply not working out between Connor and Kavs and me, or Sophie or Grace. Now. Tell us who you're going to Hogsmeade with."

Georgie huffed and crossed her arms. "Don't try to trick me into thinking you've forgotten. I'll tell you when I feel like it."

"Oh? And when might that be?" asked Kate.

"When I know what it really is that I'm doing with him," said Georgie, biting her lip.

"Shut up. You've been snogging him without ever telling us, haven't you?" I asked, completely flabbergasted.

"Maybe. A bit," mumbled Georgie.

An arm wrapped around my waist and I felt a pair of lips press against my cheek in greeting. "Hullo, everyone. Am I interrupting anything?" asked Nate.

"No," said Georgie while Kate and I simultaneously said "yes."

Nate raised his eyebrows. "Er, right. I'll just ignore that. Are you ready to go, Lily?"

I nodded and hooked my arm through his elbow. "I'll see you two later, all right? And no more fighting," I said, waving a finger at them.

Nate and I stopped in front of Filch and waited while he checked our names off the roster of people allowed to go into the village, and then set off down the sloping drive against the bitter wind, wrapping our scarves around our necks and faces more tightly.

"What was that all about?" asked Nate, standing closer to me so that he wouldn't have to yell over the wind and through his scarf.

I rolled my eyes. "Georgie won't tell us who she's going to Hogsmeade with today and Kate won't let it go. "She's still confused about Adam and she's taking it out on Georgie."

"You know, I had a talk with him the other day. Warned him about not crossing you lot like that and to stop cheating on Kate."

"And? What'd he say?" I asked. Since last week when Georgie and I caught the bastard sneaking behind one of the greenhouses with some fourth year trollop, we've been dropping hints like mad for Kate to realise what's going on, without telling her outright. We decided to avoid spelling it out for her because we agreed that it would be in Kate's best interest and her continued place in the school if she didn't know. They'd been in hot waters ever since her birthday, anyway...

"He told me to mind my own business and then walked away. Reminded me of my sister when she was thirteen, actually. I tried, though," said Nate helpfully.

I smiled and tugged on his fingers in thanks. "You're sweet, you know that? Thank you for trying."

Nate shrugged with feigned nonchalance. "What are you doing for the rest of the day?"

"Well, after we finish our shopping and after you head back up to the castle to do Important Head-ly Things, I'm having lunch with James at the Three Broomsticks. I lost a bet we had last night, hence the lunch. But after that, my plans are pretty much up in the air," I said.

"What was the wager?" asked Nate interestedly.

I explained the terms and the bet, and he was utterly surprised when he learned that there are four other ways to get to Hogsmeade from the castle.

"I honestly don't know how they've found the time to explore the castle so thoroughly. Last year was all about O.W.L. revision and this year, our work load's been considerably bigger," I said, perplexed while I waited for Nate to finish paying for a Christmas present for his sister.

"There's a lot about those blokes that we don't know, but they're good mates. Undoubtedly, they give us a hell of a lot of paperwork for all of those little things they do, but they're good blokes," said Nate.

"I suppose. I'd never really been friends with any of them except for Remus until this year. James and Sirius... They're quite the pair, eh?" I mused.

Nate laughed. "I suppose you could say that. On a completely unrelated note, will you have dinner with me tonight?"

I blinked. "At the Ravenclaw table, you mean? Sure."

"Er, no. I was thinking maybe the Boathouse," said Nate, shifting his purchases around.

"Ah," I said, hesitating. The Boathouse is, after all, one of the token Romantic Places on the grounds. The fleet of boats that carries Hogwarts first years is kept down by the Great Lake, and there's a building adjacent to the actual boathouse that's used for various things. And, in cases like ours, romantic picnics by the lake.

'We don't have to be a-a _Thing_ again, if you don't want to," said Nate, sensing my hesitation and accurately interpreting it. "We could take it slowly. Do it all over again."

My insides melted and I smiled at him. "All right. Let's have dinner tonight."

Nate grinned and threw his arm around my shoulders. "Brilliant. I'll make sure to pack an _excellent_ dinner for us," he said, kissing the top of my head.

"Don't forget the machete," I said, and Nate snorted, recalling one particularly disastrous date.

"No, definitely not," he said, and we both burst into laughter.

 

* * *

 

"Meet me in the entrance hall around seven?" asked Nate, holding onto my hand outside of the Three Broomsticks.

I nodded. "Yeah. Have fun with Claire and your paperwork."

"Wench," he said playfully, kissed my cheek and started up the road back to Hogwarts.

I smiled to myself and opened the door to the pub, searching the sea of people for James or a sign of his trademark hair, but neither of them was to be found. There was, however, a Sirius seated at the bar.

"A butterbeer, please," I said to Madam Rosmerta, and leaned against the bar next to him.

"Sure thing, Miss Lily," she said with a wink.

"You smell like arse," I said, addressing Sirius and wrinkling my nose.

"Shut up. I had a bit of an accident in Zonko's," he said, gesturing for me to take the bar stool next to him. A powerful odour of frying fish and horse manure wafted from his person when he moved his arm.

"Isn't there something you can do about it?" I asked, covering my mouth to fight my gag reflex. "And really, _do_ try to not move. It would be better for all of us."

"I've tried every cleansing charm that I know and I've taken three showers upstairs, but the smell won't budge," grunted Sirius.

"And the shopkeepers can't help you?" I asked, taking a sip of my butterbeer.

Sirius shook his head. "Said they don't know how to get rid of it, but the effects should disappear after a couple of hours. And you can't see them, but there are some _quite_ nasty boils in uncomfortable places."

I noticed the odd way Sirius sat on the stool and giggled. "I don't even want to know. Are you here alone?" I asked, looking around. How peculiar. "Georgie? What's wrong?" I asked her as she walked over, looking a bit frazzled.

"Nothing, it's fine," she said, shaking her head. She wrinkled her nose. "Sirius, you smell like death."

"Yes, yes, I know. Everyone," he said, addressing the room at large. "I smell like the loo of a wizard who just ate sauerkraut dipped in bubotuber pus and zucchini, all right?" Several people twittered and others looked disgusted. Sirius simply grumbled and turned back to the butterbeer he nursed.

Georgie and I exchanged glances, but didn't get to say anything because James walked through the door.

"All right, mates. I'm off. Good luck with everything, Sirius," I said. Sirius waved his hand at me and leaned towards Georgie, who began whispering to him.

"You reek of Sirius," said James as I slid into the booth he claimed.

"Hullo to you too, James," I said wryly. "How's your day been?"

"Oh, you know. A bit of this, a bit of that. And yours?"

"Same old, same old," I said, keeping it as vague as he did.

"Actually, I had tea with my mum," said James.

"Your mum? Is she still here?" I asked.

James shook his head. "I didn't know she was here until I ran into her on my way out of the castle. Apparently she had some business with Dumbledore, and we had a spot of tea before she had to go. She's probably back at the Ministry by now."

"Hello, pets. Ready to order?" asked Madam Rosmerta, coming up to our table.

James gestured to me. "Yes, can I have a Doctor Feelgood*, please?"

Rosmerta nodded. "Surely. And you, JP?"

I shifted uncomfortably at his nickname and his familiarity with Rosmerta, but he didn't seem to mind. "Just the usual, Rosie. Fish and chips with the hot sauce."

"Excellent. Coming right up," she said, and sauntered away. James's eyes followed her for a bit and I rolled my eyes.

"What does your mum do?" I asked, trying to get his attention again.

"Oh, er, she works in Magical Law Enforcement," said James.

"Field work?" I asked, interestedly. Maybe she could tell me about the Intelligence agency, if I ever got to talk to her.

James shook his head. "She already paid her dues for that. I don't know what she does exactly, except that she works with the Head of the department. Regulation and stuff, from what I understand. My parents don't really tell me what they do, since it can't exactly be pinpointed. It's just one giant vat of _job._ "

"Ah, I know what that's like. I've never been sure about what my dad does either. Just something in the government with the foreign relations people. Our parents could be spies, for all we know," I joked.

"I don't doubt it," said James seriously. "My dad actually used to work in Intelligence, but he wasn't recruited, so he was able to move to the Department of International Magical Cooperation."

"The MIA recruits?" I asked, my ears instantly perking up.

James nodded. "It's a serious business, is all I know. The majority of its members sign up and go through the whole application process and everything, but the recruits are the ones who are seriously lethal with a wand and aren't allowed to leave until they've been with the agency for a while. I;ve heard rumours of the training they go through, and it's pretty intense. I've always wanted to meet one of them. Could learn a thing or two, eh?"

I nodded and began to tuck into my sandwich, my mind whirling at a dangerous speed. I want that. The type of training that these recruits get. "What makes a person get recruited? Is there an age restriction?"

"I've no idea," said James, shaking his head and dousing his fish and chips with hot sauce. "Why, interested?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Just curious. Wouldn't anyone else be?"

"True, but most people don't think about it, since it doesn't happen very often. It's certainly interesting enough, but I'm focusing on becoming an Auror," said James.

My stomach flipped. "Sexy."

James grinned at me, his entire manner becoming cocky and sure. "I hear the scars are wicked."

"Yes, how typical of you to go for a job for the 'wicked scars' to pick up girls. Classy."

James scowled at me. "Come on, Lily. Enough with this-this _idea_ you have of me being this arrogant arsehole who does everything for attention, okay? That isn't me. I thought you would've known that by now."

The back of my neck and my ears burned and I took a large swig of butterbeer to hide my discomfort. "Sorry," I said quietly.

We sat in silence for a bit, with me avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

James made a sound in the back of this throat and I looked up. "Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you, but it gets a bit frustrating when people have this idea of me stuck in their heads that's entirely untrue."

I shrugged. "It's my fault, really. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I know you're not like that, but... I don't know. Old habit, I guess. Must get around to breaking it."

James ruffled his hair and sighed. "Want to try a bite of this?"

I wrinkled my nose. "I'm not a fan of spicy food. Except for curry. There's always a place in my heart for curry."

He picked up a chip doused in ketchup and hot sauce and waved it in front of my face. "Eeeeat itttttttttt," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Stop it, Potter." I swatted his hand away and took a particularly large bite out of my sandwich, taking a bit of the chicken strip out of it. Some cheese came away as well and stuck to my chin, and James laughed.

"Lovely."

I grinned and opened my mouth wide to show him my half-masticated food. James threw his fry in.

"Ho' shit," I said, as the spice immediately assaulted my tongue. I started coughing and chugged the rest of my butterbeer to get the taste out of my mouth. "I hate you."

James merely tsked at me. "Hasn't anyone ever taught you manners?" he asked me condescendingly.

I snorted. "James, my grandmother's been training me to become a debutante since I was _born_. My escort's been picked out since I turned thirteen and she's been designing my dress in her mind since last year."

James grinned at me. "So when's your cotillion supposed to be?"

I scowled. "Never. I've been trying to dissuade her for ages, but she won't budge. I didn't know they do it in the Wizarding world too."

"They do it every year during Easter holidays so that we don't need to miss school. The English ball is joint with the French one, since not that many people do it."

"Why do you know so much about it?" I asked, grinning cheekily at him.

James rolled his eyes. "I've been asked to escort my cousin's friend, and Sirius was obviously chosen to be an escort as well. Actually," said James, his eyes lighting up, "you should come! You can meet Jack, she's brilliant, and I know the two of you would get along. You can meet a bunch of Beauxbatons people too."

"It's during Easter holidays, you say?" James nodded. "I'll think about it. Where's it going to be held?"

"Oh, they alternate between Paris and London every year, and it's in some hotel in Paris this time around. You should definitely come. I'll write my mum and ask her to send an invitation to you. It'll be fun, once you get past the ridiculousness of it," he said eagerly.

"We'll see. And if anything, it's an excuse to buy new dress robes, yeah?" I said, picking up the tab and counting out some coins.

"No, no, I'm paying, Lily. Stop it. And yes, that's one way to think of it. I know how you girls like to dress up," said James. He shoved my coins back at me, snatched up the bill and then paid, leaving a generous tip. "Shall we, then?"

I nodded and began to gather my things. "Thank you for lunch, James."

He waved his hand at me. "No problem. Where do you want to go now? I don't have any more shopping that I need to do."

"Well, I need to get some new ink and owl treats, but I'm done after that. We could head back to the castle, I guess," I said.

"Scrivenshaft it is, then," said James, turning into the wind. I noticed he didn't have a scarf as he turned up the collar of his cloak to protect his neck. I rolled my eyes.

"Here, James," I said, offering him my scarf. "I at least have hair to cover my neck."

James pushed my scarf back at me. "No, no, it's fine. I like a brisk wind every now and then. Keeps me awake."

"You're an arse," I said, and pounced on him to wrap my scarf around his neck. My fingers brushed against his skin and I was jolted again, like when we were dancing at that party. What the hell is going _on?_

"All right, Lily?" asked James, noticing my stunned expression.

I shook my head. "Yeah. Just static from the wool."

James nodded and pulled out his wand. He looked at me thoughtfully and then began waving his wand back and forth, and a white scarf with snitches began to form, getting longer and longer until James finished it with tassels at either end. "Here you are. Since you won't keep yours, I'm giving you a new one."

I blushed as we stood in the middle of the street so that he could wrap his creation around my neck. James's hands stopped and rested on my shoulders and I looked up, right into his eyes. Those brilliant eyes that always have something to say and are never the same, every time you look at them. My eyes dropped to his lips, rather full for a bloke and quite inviting... "Er. Thanks for the scarf, James. It's lovely," I said, jerking myself back to reality and stepping away from him.

"Oh. Yeah, no problem. I'm glad you like it," said James. He gruffly cleared his throat and ruffled his hair.

_Awkward._

"Er, here we are," said James, motioning to the threshold of Scrivenshaft. He held the door open for me and I thanked him quietly, without making eye contact.

"Lily!" called a voice that I've never been more grateful to hear.

My head snapped to the back of the shop, where I found Kate perusing a set of quills, as Adam talked to a group of Ravenclaw boys. "I'll be right back," I said to James, and made a beeline to Kate.

"Lee? What happened?" asked Kate, noticing my obviously flustered expression.

I grabbed her arm and dragged her into a corner, where I was sure we wouldn't be overheard. "I just had a _moment_ with James," I whispered furiously.

"You _what?_ " asked Kate, eyes wide.

"I gave him my scarf when we left the Three Broomsticks because he didn't have one, so then he conjured this one for me and then wrapped it around my neck and then we were standing in the middle of the street and all of a sudden, I look up and _bam_ his bloody gorgeous eyes are in my face and I wanted to kiss him, but then I freaked out and now it's all awkward," I said, all in one breath.

"Well. _Shit_ , Lee."

"Yes, thanks. I gathered as much," I said dryly.

"You're such a flirt-"

"I _know_ , but I can't help it! I never think of how whatever the bloody hell is coming out of my mouth is going to affect the poor unfortunate soul I'm talking to! And it doesn't help that it's _James Potter_ who's amazing and has _fancied_ me for sodding _years_ ," I wailed. Or at least, wailed as much as can be allowed when whispering and shooting furtive glances around the shop.

"Okay, hold on. Let's take a second to breathe, hm? All right. Oxygen flowing? Good. Now. First of all, what's going on between you and Nate?" asked Kate, taking control of the situation. Hey, better her than me, the most unstable person in the world.

"We have a date later tonight, but I don't know if it's dinner and more, dinner and _feelings_ , or something else entirely. He said we could take it slow if I want, but he never said I couldn't date other blokes."

"Okay. Now what's going on with James?"

"Last night in the library, we had a bet about who knew about Hogwarts's secret passageways better and he won, and we'd agreed that if he won, we'd have lunch together at the Three Broomsticks, and he would pay. But obviously, I freaked out so he made it clear that we'd just go as friends," I said.

"But it's James," said Kate.

"Yes, exactly."

"Bugger."

"You're not helping!"

"Lee, there really isn't much either of us can do right now. Unless... Do you fancy him?" asked Kate.

"Who, James?" Kate nodded. "Er." I thought about it. Do I fancy him... "No. Definitely not.  
It's more of aesthetic appreciation, as we like to call it."

"Well then. Just enjoy the rest of your day, keep your hormones in check, and try not to do anything stupid. Can you do that?"

"But-" I started. Kate raised an eyebrow. "I think it's possible that...that I could fancy him sometime down the road."

Kate shifted and looked down at the floor. "But you don't fancy him now." It was more of a statement than a question.

I shook my head and looked at her helplessly.

"Then everything's fine. Seriously Lily, don't do anything stupid and just have a nice afternoon with him."

I nodded. "Okay. I think I can do that. But what about the awkward factor? It's at like fifty zillion right now."

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward. Now shoo, because we're getting really obvious," said Kate.

"Ah, you're brilliant. Thanks, Kavs. I owe you my life, yet again," I said.

Kate waved her hand at me. "Just promise me your first born child, and we'll call it even."

"Okay. I need to go now," I said, and turned towards the group of boys standing near the door and talking to one another. "Kate-" 

"Shoo," she said, and gave me a hearty shove. "I'll see you back at the castle."

I nodded, quickly paid for my things, and went up to James. "Ready?" I asked him.

James turned and then smiled brilliantly at me. "Yep. Okay lads, pitch at four?"

The group murmured their consent and we said our farewells, venturing once again into the bitter wind.

"Sorry about that. I had to tell Kate a story that I'd just remembered, but had been meaning to tell her for ages. Anyway, what was that about?" I asked, motioning back to the shop. Okay, so far so good. Awkward factor back down to low levels.

"Oh. We were just organizing a pick-up Quidditch game later at four. You're welcome to join, if you want," said James.

"I'll come, but I won't play. I'm not much of a Quidditch player, I'd rather just fly," I said.

James raised his eyebrows. "How come you don't like to play?"

I shrugged. "I enjoy the watching part, for sure. I'm rather disgustingly enthusiastic, actually. But in terms of playing, my heart belongs to football."

"Football?"

"Mm, yes. The beautiful game," I said, wistfully. "It's a Muggle sport that everyone in the world plays, except for the silly people."

I explained the rules to James as we ducked into the post office to buy some owl treats and began our return to the castle.

"But there's only one ball?" asked James.

I nodded. "I know it isn't as exciting as Quidditch because it doesn't have a million people doing five thousand things at once, but it's seriously exhilarating. You should try it, at one point. I think you'd like it."

"Well, well, well. What have we here? Pompous Potter and his little Mudblood slag," came an oily voice from behind us.

James and I turned around and were greeted by the sight of Snape, looking ghastly and pallid in the sunlight, giving off an image of someone who hasn't seen the sun in months. I felt James's entire body tense beside me and I placed a hand on his back to warn him against doing something stupid. A voice in the back of my mind snorted at the irony. Kate would be so proud.

"What do you want, Snape?" I asked coolly.

"Is it wrong to want to have a nice chat in Hogsmeade?" he asked sarcastically. "Although I wouldn't want to contaminate my day with the likes of you."

"Have you come to insult us all day? Because I really have much better things to do and I'd much rather be on my way," I said coldly.

"Like what, Evans?" sneered Snape. "You can't possibly think that anything  
you do is important. Your parentage makes sure of that."

My insides seethed and my fingers tightened around my wand in my pocket. "Don't you dare insult my parents," I said in a low, threatening voice, absolutely revolted.

"Oh, that's right. Didn't your _whore_ of a mother die? It's a shame that it hadn't happened sooner, otherwise we would have been-"

I whipped my wand out and had it at his throat so fast and with so much anger that red sparks flew out the tip, landing on Snape's neck and leaving little burn marks wherever they made contact with his greasy skin. I brought my face up close to his and narrowed my eyes, tightening my grip against the collar of his cloak. "I told you to not talk shit about my parents, you fucking little obnoxious arsehole. You aren't worthy of even _thinking_ about them. If it weren't illegal and we weren't still in school, I would rip you apart, piece-by-piece. I would make you feel your intestines be pulled out of your-"

But I never got to tell him which orifice, natural or not, I planned to remove his intestines from because James pulled me off of Snape.

Snape straightened his robes and leered at me. "What empty threats. You would never dare kill me, in cold blood. You don't have it in you to murder.Ó"

"Don't underestimate me," I said in a dangerous voice and gave him the dirtiest look possible. A part of me, however, was chilled by his words. _You don't have it in you to murder_. He made it sound like he kills in his spare time.

"Come on, Lily. Let's go. This is a waste of our time," said James, taking my elbow and pulling me away from Snape.

"What, not going to hex me, Potter? Need Black and your pathetic friends as back up?" said Snape. "I, myself, have a few hexes I'd like to try."

"Oh, I bet you do," said James in a low voice. His eyes flashed black and gold and his entire body was tensed, on the offensive and ready to attack if prompted.

I blushed. I kind of like this James. It's rather...sexy.

Snape brought his wand out, but James was too fast for him. In flash, Snape was sprawled on his back, unarmed and wandless. I breathed a sigh of relief. James had only disarmed him.

"Not in the mood for blood today, Potter?" snarled Snape, getting back to his feet. "How _chivalrous_ of you. Trying to get into Evans's trousers, I presume."

James and I both pointed our wands at him, a thousand hexes on the tip of my tongue, as Snape laughed coldly.

"James, Lily, come off it. Just let him bugger off," said Remus quietly, who had just appeared.

Snape's eye now turned to Remus. _"You_ ," he whispered dangerously.

Remus raised his eyebrows as though he were amused with the situation at hand. "Me."

"I will find out whatever it is that you are hiding. And trust me when I tell you this, it _will_ be known by all and you will regret it."

Remus scoffed. "I don't think that I need _you_ to regret _anything_." He turned and began to walk down the street.

James and I looked at each other, and without a moment's hesitation we followed him and left Snape behind.

"Remus, are you sure that it was all right to talk about your secret so openly like that?" I asked, jogging to keep up with him.

"Wait, you know? About Remus's er, furry little problem?" asked James, stopping and grabbing my arm.

I nodded. "I found out last year. Remus and I were doing Prefect patrols and we were talking, and I sort of just pieced together patterns that I had noticed, what werewolf detections I knew and Remus's symptoms at the moment, and I confronted him about it."

"And you're okay with it?" asked James.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course I am! What do you take me for, you twat? I love Remus," I said, threading my arm through his.

Remus smiled and shook his head. "Don't know why she does, though. Crazy wench."

"Do any of your friends know?" asked James protectively as we began to walk towards the castle.

"I know that Kate knows. She figured it out shortly after I did. And I think that Georgie has  
her suspicions, but we're not confirming or denying anything that she says. As for Sophie and Grace, I don't think that you lot are close enough for them to really take it into consideration, but they could definitely figure it out if they ever felt the need. Needless to say, none of us are narrow-minded enough to be afraid. Maybe a little unnerved at first, but nothing that won't pass," I said.

Remus sighed and shook his head. "You lot are all batty, you know that? Thank you," he said, and I knew that he meant it with his whole heart.

James and I grinned at him. "Anything for you, Moony. You're our mate," said James, clapping him on the back.

"Anyway, what did Snape say to provoke the both of you? Especially you, Lily. You're usually the one lobbying for everyone to go easy on him,Ó said Remus curiously.

"He insulted my mother," I said quietly, twirling a piece of hair between my fingers. "I don't like it, but I don't care much when he calls _me_ names. But when he talks about my mum like that, someone he doesn't even _know_ and should be left in peace... That, I can't let go. Plus, there was something about the way he was talking. It kind of frightened me, actually," I said.

James nodded. "Yeah, I was a bit unnerved by what he was saying, too. Did you get the feeling that he's been...generally not as harmless as usual?"

"Yes, exactly! He said something, I think it was, 'You don't have it in you to murder,' that really unsettled me. He made it sound like he's killed someone," I said, and shuddered. We're not even _seventeen_.

"I think you're just over reacting, Lily. We're not out of school yet, let alone seventh years. It's just not possible," said Remus.

"I don't know, Moony. You didn't hear him..." said James.

Remus shrugged. "I don't think we should worry about that right now. If he _did_ do something as bad as you think, it'll come out eventually. Skeletons like that, sorry, no pun intended, can't be hidden forever. And I still think you're over reacting."

James sighed. "He's just too trusting, our Moony. Wouldn't hurt a fly unless it's infected withÉthe Plague or something."

Remus snorted and the two of them bantered about the possibilities of a common housefly being infected with the bubonic plague as we continued up the path to the castle.

I'm not going to obsess over what Snape said, but I won't forget about it either. There's just a feeling that I got...

 

* * *

 

We slowly made our way to Gryffindor Tower, stopping and chatting with portraits when we fancied. Finally, after about twenty minutes of walking about the castle, we stretched out on the couches in the miraculously sparsely occupied common room.

"I could just stay here all day," I sighed, relaxing into the cushions.

"I'm with you. I do believe that a nap is in order," said James contentedly.

"Well. I second that motion, but there's no bloody way I'm going to sleep down here. I tried that once and woke up shirtless, with a half-shaved head and obscene drawings all over me." James sniggered and Remus stood up and stretched his long body. "I'm going to nap in the dormitory. Send Peter in my direction when he comes in, will you?"

"Yeah, no problem," said James. He extended his hand and the two of them did this complicated handshake thing, and then Remus left in the direction of the dormitories.

I closed my eyes and smiled to myself, settling more comfortably into the couch. It's so unbelievably refreshing to see such a close bond between people. In our entire class, there is not a single group of people as close as Peter, Sirius, James and Remus are. I guess that they have Remus's condition to bond over, I don't know. All I know is that all of Hogwarts watched while those four became brothers. They would never do anything to purposely hurt one another. Their loyalty is practically tangible.

The cushions by my feet sank down and I opened my eyes to see James sitting there, running his hands through his hair.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me, taking his glasses off and setting them on the armrest.

"You and the boys. The _Marauders_. You lot are like brothers," I said softly, smiling.

James smiled as well and sighed, picking my feet up and draping my legs over his lap so that he could sit properly. "They really are like my brothers. I don't know if I would be able to handle things if it weren't for them. How's your back, by the way?"

"It's good, thanks. Much better than last night, anyway," I said, settling down so that my head and back comfortably rested against the arm of the couch.

"My massage did the trick?"

I cocked open one eye and looked at James. "Magic fingers," I sighed. "Bloody magical fingers, you've got."

James laughed and plucked at his jeans, which were beginning to fray by his left knee. "Hey Lily," said James, suddenly sitting up straighter.

"Hey James."

"Want to see the map?" he asked excitedly.

I opened both of my eyes and sat up as much as I could, what with James practically holding onto my legs. "Ooh, yes, please!"

"Brilliant." James reached into his pocket and pulled a mirror out, which he tapped with his wand. "Pads. Oy! Sirius!"

I looked on in awe as Sirius's face materialized where James's should've been.

"What's popping, Prongsy m'boy?" he asked cheerfully. "By the way, I don't smell anymore. Some witch in the-"

"Yes, yes, that's excellent, but I really don't care," said James, cutting him off. "Listen, would you mind if I showed Lily the map? I told her about it last night."

Sirius was silent for a while. "All right, fine. But only Lily, okay? It's in the you-know-what in my you-know-where with the you-know-whats."

That made absolutely no sense to me, but it must've meant something to James, who nodded at once and began talking to Sirius in some kind of code that no one except for them would be able to understand.

"Okay. He said it's upstairs in the dormitory. Ready?" asked James, turning to me after a rather lengthy discussion with Sirius.

I nodded and we both stood. And luckily for us, no one would get the wrong impression about the two of us ascending the staircase to the boys' dormitories because the few people in the common room really weren't paying any attention to us.

We reached the fifth landing and James poked his head in. "Remus?" he whispered. "He's probably asleep," he said, turning back to me.

We tiptoed into the darkened room and for the first time ever, I stood in the Gryffindor sixth year's boys dormitory. I couldn't see much since the lights were dimmed and the curtains closed around the windows, but I noticed a pile of dirty laundry in a corner of the room (how very typical), the requisite Quidditch posters, and four open trunks, each in various states of disarray and quality.


	9. Hogsmeade and The Letter (Part 2)

James gestured for me to take a seat at one of the desks as he began to rummage in what's most likely Sirius's trunk, periodically looking up to make sure that Remus still slept quietly. He pulled out a large piece of parchment with an "A _ha!_ " and walked over to me, pointing his wand at the lamp to raise the level of the flame.

"Merlin," I whispered. "And Sirius drew all of this?" I asked, mrunning my fingers over the many turrets and towers of the Hogwarts castle.

James nodded, and the expression on his face was of the utmost pride and excitement. "We haven't done it yet, but we're going to enchant the staircases and everything else that moves so that it can be as accurate as possible. Sirius just needs to finish the north wings, and then Remus and I will charm everything as soon as Peter finds all of them."

"This is brilliant, this is," I said, tapping the parchment. "Really. Well done, James!"

He grinned. "Thank you. It's taken us a rather long time, but it's definitely worth it."

"Whose idea is it?"

"Peter's. We were going back to the dormitory after R- er, after Remus wanted to go to the kitchens for a midnight snack and we got a bit lost because we weren't paying attention, so Peter suggested making a map for the future. He's been really helpful with exploring the castle and everything. He found most of the rooms that we didn't know about," said James proudly.

"This is really amazing. Thank you for showing it to me," I said, taking in the painstaking effort and precise artwork. Come to think of it, I _have_ seen Sirius sketching out floor plans in the past. I'd just never put much thought into it. "Sirius is really talented."

"No kidding," said James. "Listen, I'm going to change for the pick-up game, I'll just be a minute. Are you going to come?"

I shrugged. "All right, I might as well. I don't really have anything better to do."

"Brilliant," said James, and went into the loo to change his clothes.

* * * 

"Lee?" I turned my head and found Kate walking over, picking her way over unoccupied seats.

"Hi, Kavs." I rolled my eyes as James scored a ridiculously flashy goal and then turned to do a victory lap.

"Who's winning?" she asked, sitting down next to me.

"James's team. They've only been playing for about twenty minutes, though. Is everything all right?" I asked, noticing her rather harried expression.

"I just broke it off with Adam," she said, eyes staring unseeingly at the pitch.

I turned and stared at her. "Oh, love, I'm so sorry. Truly," I said, and pulled her into a hug.

"Don't be. I've just been embarrassingly stupid about it. You and Georgie have constantly been dropping hints about him cheating on me, and there was always a small part of me that knew it was true. I just chose to ignore it cause I thought it might go away if I did," she said, resting her head on my shoulder.

"What happened?" I asked quietly.

"Found the bastard snogging a fourth year. So I ended it, then and there. Good riddance, I'll say."

I sighed and tipped my head to rest on top of hers. "Rotten luck, I suppose. And you're okay after all of this?"

Kate shrugged. "I'm as fine as I can be, yeah? And I don't hate him. It's much too exhausting to hate someone–you have to put a lot of time and effort into actively being angry about everything they do, and I'm just not up for it. I'm more disappointed, I think. I never expected it to last past Hogwarts, but it's still heart breaking, you know?"

"Just forget him, there are plenty of other more worthy blokes out there, hm? Now what do you say about a fudge brownie sundae in the kitchens?" I asked, squeezing her shoulder.

"What about the match?" asked Kate.

I waved my hand at the players zipping around in the air. "They'll live without me. I only told James I'd come for a bit, anyway."

"I know I'm not in any place to be giving relationship advice right now, but Lily, you have to be careful with James. Especially if you have a Something going on with Nate again," she said, looping her arm through mine as we made our way out of the Quidditch pitch.

"We're just friends, Kavs. He knows that I'm not really interested in him like that. Besides, we've only just become mates, and I'd hate to muck it up, because for some reason, he really trusts me and we have a good thing going," I said.

"All right. I just want you to be aware that he most likely still fancies the trousers off you, so try to not give him false hope. That's the last thing any of us needs right now."

"Oh, the drama of our lives," I sighed.

* * * 

Upon returning to our dormitory from the kitchens, Kate crawled into bed for a nap while I put our various purchases away and listened to Sophie's wireless. Just as the bridge in The Switchblades' song 'Your Fireplace or Mine?' began, an owl tapped its beak against the window.

I frowned, not recognizing the owl, but opened the window and let it in. The golden brown and amazingly groomed bird circled the room, hooted softly and then dropped a letter at my feet.

"You can drink some of that water there," I absent-mindedly gestured to a saucer of water that we keep in the room for owls.

It hooted, drank a little bit and then gracefully flew out the window. I watched as it slowly turned into a small dot in the sky and then disappearing altogether, before looking at the envelope in my hands.

_'Miss Lily M. Evans  
Gryffindor House, Sixth Year  
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry'_

The words were written on the front of the envelope in beautiful midnight blue ink in elegant cursive. I flipped it over and stared at the matching blue wax seal. The Ministry of Magic emblem with an eye nestled in the centre of it quite literally stared at me.

I held my breath and broke the seal, pulling its contents out. I scanned the first couple of lines and gasped.

_Holy shit._

.....  
 _Nothing unusual, nothing strange_  
Close to nothing at all  
The same old scenario, the same old rain  
And there's no explosions here  
Then something unusual, something strange  
Comes from nothing at all  
.....  


A/n: Hi. I am _so_ so sorry for taking to long to update. I never wanted to be one of those authors who never updated, but alas, it's happened. I promise that the next chapter won't take as long as this one did. I've already started re-writing and revising it, so hopefully I'll be able to update again in September. Thank you to those of you who've come back to read some more, and to Missy and Kirsten for doing an awesome beta job. You guys are the best.

* A Dr. Feelgood is a sandwich from my sister's college, and it's grilled cheese with chicken strips in between the bread. Seriously tasty.


	10. Opportunity Calls

Disclaimer: While writing this chapter, I couldn't resist making references to American culture, so I'd like to acknowledge: that email that went around after LOTR came out (the one about the characters' diaries, you might've seen it), Dartmouth's name of in-campus emailing, South Park, Mr. T and the writers and cast of _Grey's Anatomy._

Chapter Nine: Opportunity Calls  
 _(Chapter's Song: 'Unwritten' by Natasha Bedingfield)_

"Lily! Lily Evans?"

I turned around and saw a small girl running to me, a scroll of parchment in her hand.

"Are you Lily Evans?" she asked, breathless from running up a flight of stairs. Judging by the yellow barrettes in her hair and her small size, I'd wager that she's a...second year Hufflepuff.

I nodded. "What can I do for you today?"

"I've been asked to give this to you," she said, thrusting a scroll at me.

"Oh. Thank you."

The girl nodded and ran back down the stairs, presumably to where her friends were waiting for her.

I apprehensively unfurled the scroll as I continued on my way back to Gryffindor Tower after breakfast. Hopefully this wasn't another invitation for one of Slughorn's silly little 'get togethers.' His ambush yesterday more than fulfilled my Slug Club-related incident quota for the weekend.

"Dear Miss Evans," it read. "It has come to my attention that an invitation has been sent to you via owl post. I trust that you have considered what it has to say, and I would like to speak with you regarding your intentions. Kindly stop into my office at your earliest convenience. Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore. PS, I do enjoy a nice box of Cockroach Clusters."

"Well, _shit_ ," I muttered to myself. "There goes my day. And my sweatpants." I pouted at no one in particular and felt the sudden urge to stomp and whine about losing my chance at loitering around the common room all day wearing oversized clothing.

I ran up the stairs to my dormitory and opened my wardrobe, looking for a decent set of trousers and a comfortable jumper.

"Morning, Lee," greeted Kate sleepily.

I jumped and hit my head on the corner of the wardrobe door. "Buggering shit," I swore, reaching up to grab my head. "Hi."

Kate giggled and sat down on my bed, watching as I rubbed my head and searched for my favourite blue cardigan. "Sorry 'bout that. What are you doing?"

"Dumbledore wants to see me," I grunted, stepping into my trousers. I handed her the letter from the Ministry and waited for her reaction as I got dressed.

"Dear Miss Evans," said Kate, reading aloud.

I mouthed the words along as Kate read and ran a brush through my hair, trying to look presentable for the headmaster.

_"The English Ministry Intelligence Agency has been alerted of your interest in a position within our ranks. We have looked at your files and spoken with your professors, and received an excellent report of your capabilities._

_I would like to meet with you this coming Saturday, 15 November to discuss several possibilities. Arrangements have already been made with your Headmaster and Head of House, should you choose to accept this invitation._

_It is with the utmost urgency that I ask you to use your discretion regarding this correspondence and upcoming meeting, excluding logistical conversations with the proper authorities, as it could pose a risk to our organisation._

_We at the Agency look forward to meeting with you_  
and working with you in the future.

_Sincerely,  
Richard Kendall  
Director of Recruitment"_

_"_ _Fuck_ ," whistled Kate, after reading the signature. She looked at my face through the mirror.

"I know, right? That's exactly what I said yesterday. I was going to tell you, but it was late and..." I trailed off apologetically.

"Adam," Kate finished. "I wasn't exactly capable of reasonable conversation last night, yeah?"

I nodded. "Yes, although you had every reason to be. But yeah, Dumbledore wants to meet with me, no doubt to discuss the offer and my options and everything."

"You're going to do it, aren't you? I mean, this is what you wanted."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I will. I just don't know why they're already talking to me when I'm only a sixth year. And how it'll all work out."

"You'll find out on Saturday then, eh?" she said.

"I suppose. In the mean time, I'm going to go because I don't want to be rude and keep Dumbledore waiting. I'll see you later for lunch, yeah? Kitchens?"

"Definitely. Ta darling."

* * * 

I stood stupidly in front of the gargoyles that I knew guarded the headmaster's office. Shit.

"Er, pointy hat?" I said, hoping that the gargoyles would spring aside. "Shit. Pointy hat trick? Giant squid, bed knobs, bowtruckle, fairy lights? Oh come on, you stupid things. Let me in! He wants to see me," I whined at the gargoyles. "How the bloody hell am I supposed to talk to him if I don't know the bloody password..." I mumbled to myself. I stood in front of the gargoyles for a minute and wracked my brain for anything that might resemble a password or give me a clue as to what it could be. " _PS, I do enjoy a nice box of Cockroach Clusters"_ floated into my mind. He isn't serious...? "Cockroach Clusters," I said tentatively, and the gargoyles sprang aside. "Ew," I shuddered.

I stepped onto the moving staircase and slowly spiralled upwards. When I reached the large mahogany door, I knocked and the Headmaster's voice invited me to enter.

I've only been to the headmaster's office once before, and it was by no means a happy occasion. McGonagall had brought me to his office after I'd gotten the letter from Daddy telling me that Mum had died. I'd been a mess then and didn't really take stock of what was around me. All I could remember from that particular day were the feelings of shock, numbness, and the most profound sense of loss and incompleteness that I'd ever felt in my life. I have a vague memory of Dumbledore telling me that arrangements had been made for me to spend two weeks at home, going and returning by portkey. I also remember feeling slightly comforted by McGonagall's steady hand on my shoulder as the headmaster explained the details to me.

This time, however, I was able to look around me and was very impressed with what I saw. Not a bad decorating job, old man.

Portraits of headmasters and headmistresses past scaled the walls, some of them talking quietly amongst themselves, others missing, and some still sleeping. A large collection of books claimed the upper tier of his office and small, immensely interesting trinkets could be found all over the room, whirring, puffing and smoking on little spindly tables. The Sorting Hat, something that I hadn't seen up close in years sat on a pillow behind Dumbledore's desk, completely still like when I saw it for the very first time. The thing that took my attention, however, was the brilliant Gryffindor-coloured phoenix preening his feathers, enjoying the prime of his current lifecycle.

I turned to Dumbledore and offered him a small smile. "Good morning, Professor."

"Good morning, Lily. Thank you for stopping by," he said, and gestured for me to  
take a seat in front of his desk. "Cockroach Cluster? I've just recently received a new box from the lovely shopkeepers at Honeydukes."

"Ah, no thank you, sir," I politely declined, using every ounce of self control to keep my face in a neutral expression and to not cringe when I saw the horrible crunchy-looking obscenities crawling all over themselves and making _sounds_.

"Well then," said Dumbledore jovially, seating himself behind his desk. "You have received a letter from the Ministry Intelligence Agency, yes?"

I nodded and handed him the letter, which he read quickly. "What are your thoughts, if I may ask?"

"Well, I'm excited, certainly. It isn't every day that one receives a letter of recruitment from an organisation of this calibre. I'm also confused, I suppose. I'm not quite sure about what to make of receiving the owl so, er, _early_ ," I mused.

"Quite understandable, Lily. Quite understandable. Professor McGonagall informed me during one of our staff meetings," began Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling at me, "that you had expressed a desire to pursue a career in Intelligence. Accordingly, I sent a letter indicating your interest to Mr. Kendall to make him aware of your, ah..."

"Existence?" I said helpfully.

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, indeed. Now, I assume you have some questions for me. Someone as bright as yourself is never without questions."

I blushed at his compliment. "Thank you, sir. And you're right, I do have quite a few questions. First, why now? I mean, I haven't taken my N.E.W.T.s yet, let alone a full year of N.E.W.T. classes, so why are they contacting me already?"

"I believe that they see a certain amount of potential in you, Lily. It is a widely shared belief that when extraordinary raw talent is discovered early, it is best to cultivate it as soon as possible," explained Dumbledore.

"I suppose that makes sense. On a more practical note, how will I be getting there? And when? And I know that it shouldn't be the most important thing on my mind right now, especially under the circumstances, but will I have to miss the Quidditch match, sir?" I bit  
my lip. I hoped to Merlin and every other omniscient being that be that I wouldn't have to miss the very first Quidditch match of the year.

"A portkey has been arranged for you to take from my office at three o' clock sharp, so I advise that you be on time. It will take you directly to the main lobby of the Intelligence building in London. I will be accompanying you at the start of your meeting, and Professor McGonagall will take my place when you are ready to return to Hogwarts," instructed Dumbledore. "And," he said, seeing the question on my face, "due to its later hour, you need not miss Quidditch."

I grinned. "Brilliant. Oh, er, what am I supposed to tell my friends? I can't very well tell them that I'm off to a recruiting meeting with the Ministry Intelligence Agency."

"No, certainly not. I think telling them that you have a meeting with a representative from the Ministry in Hogsmeade will not seem so odd," Dumbledore suggested. "The Ministry's many departments are in the habit of extending invitations to Hogwarts students for summer internships."

I nodded and contemplated what he said.

A shrill, beeping sound suddenly went off and my wand started vibrating as all of the blood rushed out of my face. "Oh my god, Professor, I am _so_ sorry. I had no idea it was on," I  
said quickly, digging my wand out of my bag and ripping off the piece of parchment attached to its tip.

"It's quite all right, Miss Evans. I think it's best if you answer whoever is blitzing you, though. They seem to be quite insistent," said Dumbledore as my wand beeped twice more.

I nodded and looked at the pieces of parchment, too embarrassed to say anything. Honestly, how could I have forgotten to _turn my wand off_ when meeting with the Headmaster _._ I'm so bloody incompetent. Soon I'll need someone to like, change my nappies and tell me when to breathe.

"LILY. LET'S DO LUNCH. LUNCH LUNCH LUNCH LUNCH LUNCH," was written on one of the strips of parchment in Sirius's handwriting. I am going to _kill_ that boy.

"LIIIIIIIILYYYYYYYYYYY LUUUUUUUUUNCH," he'd written on the second.

Sirius's bombardment of blitzes finished with, "Fine. I see how it is. Avoid me if you want, but WE ARE having lunch together."

"I am going to _murder_ Sirius Black," I muttered, furiously tapping one of the pieces of parchment with my wand to write a reply.

"As long as it isn't on the school premises..." said Dumbledore lightly.

"Merlin," I swore, not realizing that Dumbledore had heard me. " _I am going to bloody KILL YOU when I see you. I'm in the middle of a meeting with Dumbledore, you arse hole. And besides, I promised Kate I'd have lunch with her in the kitchens. NO LUNCH FOR YOU. FIE."_ Satisfied with my response, I tapped the parchment again to send it to Sirius. I twirled my wand to avoid being blitzed again, stuck it in my pocket and turned back to Dumbledore. "Sorry, sir," I apologised again.

"Do you have any other questions, Lily?" he asked kindly.

"Well, yes, but it's rather silly," I intoned apologetically.

"Nonsense. There's no such thing as a silly question, my dear."

"Sir, what am I supposed to _wear?_ "

Dumbledore smiled. "A fine question, indeed. I believe that suitable attire for this occasion would be what you would wear to Sunday brunch with your grandmother."

"Er, thank you sir. Oh, and another thing–how long do you think the meeting will take? And what will I tell my friends if I take too long?"

"There is no way at the moment of telling how long you will be at the Agency, but I wager that it will be for a significant portion of time. Should you choose to accept the offer, which, by your eagerness, I'd assume that I am right, you will undergo a battery of tests, physical examinations, and whatever else it is that the Intelligence Agency sees fit to examine when evaluating new members. However, I think it is safe to say that you will be introduced to very interesting ways of time management," said Dumbledore, winking at me.

"I see." I paused to mull over what he'd just told me. Does he mean that the Agency has ways of manipulating _time?_ Merlin... "I don't think I have any more questions, sir."

"If anything else comes to mind, feel free to send me an owl or simply stop by my office. My door is always open to those who wish to see me. Have an excellent day, Lily," smiled Dumbledore.

"Thank you. You too, sir," I said, standing and heading for the door.

"Lily?" called Dumbledore.

I turned around, my hand on the doorjamb.

"Are you certain you don't care for a Cockroach Cluster?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

A little bit of vomit rose up to the back of my throat as I stared at the vile not-worthy-of-being-called-candy _thing_ as the monstrosity waved its legs and antennae in the air. I swallowed and looked at Dumbledore. "Quite sure, sir."

"Off you go, then," he said, and I could have sworn I heard him laughing as I made my way down the spiral staircase.

I'll have to get Kavs to help me pick out some interview clothing. The MIA probably won't mind if I tell my best mate...

"...and you will _respect my authority!_ "

I stepped into the corridor and nearly burst out laughing. Filch and Nate stood in front of the stone gargoyles; Nate, the picture of perfect calm and Filch a mess with jowls aquiver and a flushed face.

"I am _not_ 'disrespecting your authority.' It's perfectly acceptable to stand outside the headmaster's office while waiting for my appointment," argued Nate, his face lighting up as he caught my eye.

"What's going on?" I asked lightly, stifling a grin and avoiding Nate's gaze to keep from laughing.

"Ford seems to find it appropriate to loiter in the corridors-" started Filch.

"I am not _loitering_ ," interrupted Nate exasperatedly.

"-and then he dares to question my authority!" he finished.

I struggled and fought with myself to keep my face neutral, lest I burst into laughter and get a detention for something so ridiculous. "Well, Mr. Filch, I've finished with Professor Dumbledore, so Nate won't need to, er, _loiter_ any longer."

"Best not let me catch you causing any mischief, then," warned Filch, giving Nate a dirty look. He turned and left, his mutterings echoing down the corridor. As soon as he turned the corner, Nate and I turned to each other and burst into laughter.

"Hi." I stepped closer to him after we stopped laughing and hooked my arms around his neck, reaching up on tiptoe to softly kiss his lips.

"Hi back," he greeted, grinning and kissing both of my cheekbones. "Sleep well?"

"I slept excellently, thanks for asking. What are you doing here, anyway?" I asked, in between kisses.

"I could say the same about you," countered Nate.

"Had a meeting with Dumbledore."

"Yeah?" he said quietly, lowering his head for another kiss.

"Yeah," I whispered, grinning up at him. His eyes, as light and green as jade shone down at me behind his eyelashes.

"Listen," I began, gently pushing him away. "Do you have any plans for New Year's Eve?"

"I have exceedingly _ace_ plans with my grandparents up in Leicester. I foresee a night full of board games and stories about the War. Why do you ask?"

"Well, my dad wrote me this morning and we'll be having a New Year's party up in our Essex house, and I was wondering if you wanted to come and be my date. I also really want you to meet my dad," I explained, giving Nate my best puppy dog eyes.

"I know that my mum wants me to spend midnight with the family, but I'm sure I'll be able to get away for the rest of your party. Now about your father... Is he one of those scary blokes who points a gun at any lad who looks at his daughter? Or is he more accommodating and willing to smoke a cigar with lads who look at his daughter?" asked Nate.

I grinned. "You'll have to wait and see."

"Do I have to wear anything special?"

"Do you have a nice Muggle suit?" I asked.

"I could borrow one of my dad's, yeah," said Nate.

"Excellent. Oh, and what are your thoughts on accompanying myself and daddy dearest to a Chelsea match January second?"

"Football, yeah?"

"Of course," I nodded. "If not, don't worry about it. One of my best mates from home would love to take your ticket if you can't make it. It wouldn't be awkward at all though, promise."

"You really want me to meet your dad, don't you?" asked Nate rhetorically.

I nodded. "Very much. I fancy you loads, and I just want you to meet people who are important to me."

"Then yes, I will gladly go to a footy match with you," said Nate, leaning down for a kiss.

"Well, good _morning_ , you two," came a voice accompanied by approaching footsteps.

Nate and I turned to look at the newcomer, my skin heating at getting caught. "Lo, Claire Bear."

"Hi Claire." I waved sheepishly, gently pushing Nate away to fix my hair.

Claire giggled. "Honestly, Lily, don't look so scandalized, it isn't a big deal. Besides, it's not as if I haven't seen the two of you snogging like there's no tomorrow before."

I shrugged. "It's still kind of weird. But anyway, I'll let the two of you get to your Head meeting. Which, by the way, you have absolutely _a million_ of. I'll see you later, okay?" I said, turning to Nate and pressing another kiss to his lips.

"Just blitz me," he said, and gave the gargoyles the password.

I nodded. "Bye Claire."

"Bye Lily."

I headed in the direction of the main staircase, deciding to make my way down to the kitchens a little earlier than planned. Fishing my wand out of my trouser pocket, I twirled it between my fingers again and ripped the new parchment off the tip.

"Oops, sorry," read Sirius's handwriting. "What are you doing after your meeting? James and I are in the kitchens noshing until lunch."

I snorted. Of course they'd want to eat for three hours. "I'm actually on my way there. I'll see you in a couple of minutes," I wrote back.

I made quick work of walking through the castle, taking all secret passageways and shortcuts that I knew to get to the kitchens, finally stopping in front of the giant portrait of fruit. Tickling the pear, I stepped into the kitchen and spotted James and Sirius sitting at one of the tables in the corner with half of a pie sitting between them.

"Lily!" called James, having seen me enter.

"James!"

"Sirius!" yelled Sirius.

"Sirius, if I didn't like you so much, I would _murder_ you." I demonstrated by wrapping my hands around his neck and squeezing slightly as I slid onto the bench next to him.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly. "Had no idea you were meeting with Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore?" asked James, sticking a fork directly into the pie. "What for?"

"Nothing, really. Just about summer opportunities."

"Pads and I are going to have an _excellent_ summer," grinned James, pointing his fork enthusiastically at Sirius.

"What are you lot planning on doing?" I asked, taking a sip of the iced tea that the elves brought me.

"We, my darling Lily, will be backpacking through Europe for all of July with nothing but our brooms, the clothes on our back, a spare change, and our keys to Gringotts," explained Sirius triumphantly.

"Yeah!" he and James yelled, pounding their fists together.

"That sounds excellent. But you're only bringing _one change of clothes?_ I pity the fools you'll stay with."

"Okay, well, maybe a little more than that, but we just wanted to make it sound more dramatic," said James.

"What made you decide to do it?" I asked, stealing Sirius's fork and taking a bite of pie for myself.

"We've been planning this since our fourth year, but my mum wouldn't let us go until we were of age, which we'll finally be by next summer," explained James.

"Wish I could come. Sounds like an amazing time," I sighed wistfully, resting my chin on my hand.

"Why don't you? It'll be so much fun! I can just imagine the three of us wandering around in Madrid, and then Milan, and Ljubljana, and all of those wonderful places," grinned Sirius.

I snorted. "As if. My dad would _never_ let me travel the continent with not one, but _two_  
teenage boys he knows nothing about. When do you lot come of age, anyway?"

"December third," responded James.

"December twenty-ninth, and it will be the best day of my life. You're invited to the party of course. Unless you'll be out of town during the holidays?"

I shook my head. "Nope. As a matter of fact, my family's having a New Year's party in the country, and my dad told me to invite whoever I want. Are you in?"

"Yes, definitely," agreed Sirius.

"Am I invited?" asked Kate, having just walked in and sitting next to James.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Kavs. My family _hates_ you with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns."

"Excellent. I'll let my mum know," she said, sticking a fork into a new pie, unfazed.

"Actually," began James hesitantly. "I think my mum said we already have plans for New Year's. I wish we could come, though. Maybe we'll swing by after midnight."

"Did she say whose party? I hope it isn't another Ministry function. I'd rather beat myself like a bludger," groaned Sirius.

James shook his head. "Her letter only said we already had plans for Christmas dinner and New Year's. Didn't say who with. Odd," he said, furrowing his brow.

"That's so weird! My dad said we're having people over for Christmas dinner too, but he didn't say who. Probably someone from work or something," I said, signalling for yet another pie.

"It isn't the Sorentillos?" asked Kate, referring to my neighbours.

"Don't think so. Vittoria said her parents are going to Milan to visit her grandparents, but I don't know about her and Rafe."

"Who are the Sorentillos?" asked Sirius.

"Is this the Vittoria you were telling me about on Friday?" asked James.

I nodded. "The Sorentillo family live in the house next door to mine and I've known them since I was...two, I think. We're basically one giant family."

"And they're all insanely attractive," added Kate. "It's eerie and entirely unnatural for all of them to be so fit. Especially Rafe," she sighed.

"Rafe?" asked James, ruffling his hair.

"Rafael, but we call him Rafe," I clarified. "He's four years older than us, and Vittoria's just a year ahead. You would definitely like them, they're absolutely wicked. But anyway, Kate and I need to go have lunch, so if you'll excuse us, gents."

Kate and I said our goodbyes and picked our way to a more isolated part of the kitchen where we usually have our heart-to-hearts. We ordered our food from the helpful little elves and began to dig in.

"Have you seen George at all today?" asked Kate.

I shook my head. "I haven't been in the dormitory since I saw you this morning, and she  
wasn't there when I woke up either. Actually, I don't think she slept in her bed at all."

"Maybe she had a sleepover with Emmeline?" suggested Kate. It wouldn't be the first time that the Vance sisters had some quality sister time without telling us.

"Entirely possible. Unless," I said, pausing. "Unless she spent the night with her mysterious date..?"

"Merlin, I was thinking _exactly_ the same thing. Who do you think this bloke is? And why the bloody hell is she being so secretive about it?"

"I have _no idea_! I mean, is he someone embarrassing? And honestly, she should know us well enough by now to know that by not telling us, she's only making it worse for herself, you know what I mean? This is excellent soup, by the way. Here, try some," I said, lifting a spoonful to her mouth.

"Mm, yes, quite. But anyway, what was it that she said yesterday? I think she said something like, 'I'll tell you when I know what I'm doing with him'? What does that mean?"

I shrugged, completely at a loss. "Maybe it's more serious than we think it is. Maybe she just really, _really_ fancies him and doesn't want to botch it yet."

"Very true," mused Kate. "But that still doesn't stop me from wanting to know."

"I _really_ want to just wheedle the information out of her and badger her until she blabs in an annoyed rage, but on the other hand, I would hate for you lot to do that to me, so I guess we'll have to wait it out."

"True. Sucks, though." She filched my soup and then looked up at me. "So tell me, how was your date last night with Mr. Ford?"

"It was quite lovely, actually," I grinned. "He filled a hamper with some excellent food and we sat by the water where the firsties first come in on the boats."

"But it was freezing last night."

"He conjured up some space heaters, which was wonderful. We were perfectly warm. And I don't know, it was very romantic and I definitely had a lot of fun," I said, popping a piece of a roll into my mouth. Hogwarts bread. Seriously, the best there is.

"What'd you two talk about? It wasn't awkward?" asked Kate.

I shrugged. "It wasn't awkward at all, which was fantastic, really. But then again, Hogsmeade wasn't awkward either, so I should've expected it. And you know what? We just talked for _hours_ , but it was one of those conversations where you talk about absolutely everything, and nothing at the same time, you know? It was really comfortable."

"So you're going to stay with him, then." It was more of a statement than a question.

"I suppose." I paused and traced the patterns on the tablecloth before I looked up at Kate. "Okay well, to be honest, that isn't the only reason why I'm staying with him. Yes, we get along smashingly and blah blah blah, but honestly, I've been so bloody randy recently, and I know I'm ready and I'm comfortable with Nate, so I think we'll, er, take the next step."

" _Really_ now?" asked Kate as she wrapped her hands around a mug of tea.

"I'm pretty sure. We'll be responsible, obviously, but I don't want to make such a big deal out of it, you know? I feel like I'd just be let down if I hype it up too much or make such a fuss about it," I said.

Kate nodded. "When Adam and I first did it, it was a pretty spur of the moment thing, and I think that that's what made it so great. Nothing was forced and planned to death until it was almost mechanical, and it was...I don't know, it wasn't good or bad, it just _was_. The good came later. And then the amazing came after that. Anyway, as long as you're ready and you're comfortable with him and you're responsible, then why not?"

I nodded. "That's exactly how I feel."

"Good."

"Good."

"It's also really good because we're good friends."

"Let's say good one more time," grinned Kate.

I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, we were friends before we started dating and we were friends even when we weren't together, so it's really comfortable. I know that he wouldn't ask me to do something that I'm uncomfortable with, and I definitely trust him a lot, so..."

"Nathaniel Ford," said Kate. "He's a great bloke, that one."

"I invited him to New Year's, too. And to a footy match with Daddy. I ran into him outside of Dumbledore's office after my meeting and it all just came out. Nate and Claire had another one of their Head Students meetings with Dumbly," I suddenly said after a lull in conversation.

Kate raised an eyebrow. "And? What'd he say?"

"Well he said that he'll be up at his grandparents' for New Year's Eve, but that he'll come after midnight. He also said that he'd go to the Chelsea match with us, but I don't know what he was thinking. Do you think it'll be awkward? Or what if he felt like I pressured him into coming? Oh shit," I said, panicked.

"Relax, Lee. It'll be okay. Chas isn't the type to completely ruin his daughters' relationships, and especially not during a football match. Nate accepted your invitation because he wants to spend time with you outside of the Hogwarts bubble and because he wants to meet your family. Honestly, the worst that could happen is that your dad wouldn't like him, but he wouldn't be outright rude to him," soothed Kate.

"The Chelsea thing was pretty spur of the moment. I hadn't been planning it and then suddenly I lost control of my mouth and had verbal diarrhoea and now I'm really nervous. I hope it'll be okay..."

"Seriously. Stop making a big deal out of it. Nate and your father will get along smashingly. And if you don't want him to go, just tell him that you thought your dad had an extra ticket but it turns out he didn't. Problem solved."

I nodded tensely and looked down into my mug.

We sat quietly, each of us drinking our tea until Kate broke the silence. "So what's going on with you and James?"

I shrugged. "We're just friends, and I want to keep it that way for a while–just really get to know him. He's a good bloke, I had him completely wrong before."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Glad you finally noticed, Lee," she said, getting comfortable in her chair. "Only took you, oh, _six years_."

"Hush, you. I don't recall ever seeing you being all matey with him."

"Maybe not, but I haven't completely ignored him like you have. And besides, you know that Georgie's always been on good terms with him," said Kate.

"Well yes, but her and Sirius having been Beating together since third year when George joined the team. And they're cousins," I pointed out.

"Very distant cousins."

"Whatever, everyone's someone's cousin. You're probably like my fifth cousin thrice-removed in relation to my mother's great-great-aunt Lucinda or something." Kate and I looked at each other and snorted.

"Can you imagine if that was actually true?" she giggled.

"It would be utter madness. I don't even think that person exists," I said.

"At any rate, I'm glad the two of you are finally friends. I can see the two of you  
getting along ridiculously well. It'll also make next year _much_ easier for you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why? What's next year?"

"Head Boy and Girl. It's obviously going to the pair of you," said Kate.

"No. No, no, no. Not at all. There are _much_ better options for the job," I said, shaking my head.

"Oh yeah? Like who?" asked Kate, crossing her arms in a challenge.

"Sophie, for one. And there's also Maia and Isabelle," I counted girls off. "James would be a good choice, though. He's certainly clever and everyone respects him."

"First of all, I love Sophie, but she's too much of a flake to be Head Girl, and you _know_ she'd much rather collect bowtruckles and dandelions or something than go to all of those meetings with Dumbledore. Maia's brilliant, but that's it. She's a sweet girl, but she's pretty much only clever with her books. And as for Isabelle, she just doesn't have it in her to be able to command a room. The bottom line is that none of them would work as well with James as you would, Lee. Face it, the job's yours," finished Kate, acting like it's a done deal.

"Well, it might _not_ be James. It could be Reade Harrowing or Dalton Carlisle," I argued.

"Dalton? Please. He's much too quiet. Reade is actually the only person who might give James a run for his money. And I'd say Remus too, but the full moons would leave him incapacitated too often, which is a damn shame, if you ask me. And besides, why are you so against being Head Girl? I thought you wanted it."

I shrugged. "I do. It's just that...I don't want to get my hopes up, you know? It's entirely possible that Dumbledore will give it to someone else."

"Lily," said Kate exasperatedly. "You're bloody sixteen years old and the Intelligence Agency sent you an owl of recruitment. If that doesn't give you Head Girl, you'll _at least_ be part of _Witch Weekly's_ annual 'Graduating People to Watch' list."

"Bloody fuck, I completely forgot about that! Who'd they do this year? Merlin, I must've been so out of it to have missed the issue." I slumped back against my chair and tied my hair into a ponytail.

"Nate and Claire, obviously, since they're the Head Students and they almost always do both of them. They also did Fabian Prewett, Elena Perotta, Allegra, Erick, Braeden, and Josephine. I think that's everyone. Should be eight people. Two Ravenclaws, two Slytherins, three Gryffindors and a Hufflepuff," counted Kate.

"Okay, so let's see. Nate and Claire for being Head Students, Fabian, Allegra and Braeden for being bloody prodigies, Erick because his family owns like all of Austria, Elena because of her connections, and Josephine because... I'm not really sure," I frowned.

"Because she's already begun planning her own investment firm."

"You're kidding."

Kate made a face at me.

"Well, _bugger_. She's going to make millions of galleons before she reaches twenty five," I whistled.

"The scary thing is that she can actually pull it off, since she won't do it half-arsed, has the funds to get it going, and knows the right people to build her client list."

I shook my head. "I can't believe the sevens will be in the real world next year. And it'll be _us_ the year after that."

"Stop it, that's terrifying!" said Kate, shaking her head at me as if to stop time from surging forward.

"Where do you think we'll be in ten years?" I asked.

"Our circle of friends or just Gryffindors?"

I shrugged. "Gryffindors for now."

"Well. We'll be what, twenty-six and twenty-seven then?" I nodded. "Well, I could say some absolutely ridiculous things, but I think I have a pretty good idea."

"Enlighten me, if you please then, Miss von Strassberg," I said with as much grandeur as I could muster.

"My pleasure, Lady Evans. You, I can see as the captain of an Intelligence team. Our dearest Georgina will be managing the PR for some fashion company, Sophie will have managed to become an Unspeakable, and Grace..."

"Will be an Auror," I supplied. "That's what she's been shooting for. And you, my dear, will be a brilliant, world-renowned Healer at St. Mungo's."

Kate shook her head. "I'd rather work at Agrippa. Better pay since it's private, and the cases will be more interesting instead of ridiculously stupid things like someone accidentally  
transfiguring their child's legs into testicles- _tentacles_ or something. Hush," she admonished, as I began giggling. "My mind's in the gutter, we already knew that. As for the boys..."

"Sirius will definitely be a really successful architect. He's brilliant; even his half-arsed floor plans in class are amazing. I can see Remus doing some intellectual type thing, like a researcher for something," I said, still erupting into little bursts of laughter.

"James will either be the head of an Auror team–kind of like you, actually–or a Quidditch player with a ten million galleon-a-year salary, not including endorsements. And Peter... I'm not so sure about him. I don't know him very well," mused Kate.

"Me neither, but he'll probably do something in the Department of Magical Sports and Games. And I know it's mean, but I can't really see him becoming Department Head or moving up very far. He doesn't have the personality, even though he has the connections because of his friends," I said.

"Do you think we'll actually become successful, though?" asked Kate, swirling her tea.

I frowned and shrugged my shoulders. "Honestly, no one knows. But I'd rather be optimistic,  
yeah? Also, are you ready to go? I really need to use the loo."

Kate nodded and thanked the elves as we made our way out of the kitchens. "It's still really  
unsettling to realise that we'll be leaving this place soon. I might never see some of these people ever again."

I took Kate's arm in mine and gave her a squeeze. "Well, no matter what, you're stuck with me. So you better get used to it."

Kate giggled. "Shame, I was really hoping to drop you."

I smacked her arm. "You're an awful mate. Awful, awful mate."

* * * 

"Lily," called James in a singsong voice.

I looked up at him from the pile of parchment in my hands. "Lo James. You need a haircut."

James's hand went up to his hair. "Yeah, I suppose I do. Listen, have you seen Remus?"

"Nope. Haven't seen him since breakfast this morning, although he owes me for doing all of this by myself," I grumbled.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked, taking the top five flyers from my pile.

"I ran into Claire Reynolds earlier and she asked me to update the notice board outside the Great Hall for her since she was late for a N.E.W.T. study group," I said, taking the parchments back from James.

"We have a Squid Watching Society? That's brilliant! I would definitely join that with a bottle of Ogden's," he said enthusiastically.

"James, that's a firsties society and please promise me that you _will not_ corrupt them with your depraved ways," I pleaded, but grinned nonetheless.

James shrugged. "Wouldn't have time for it anyway, I always have Quidditch when they  
meet. Anyway. Speaking of Quidditch. Are you going to the match on Saturday?"

I snorted as I took down some old notices about society meetings and lost and found memos. "Is the sky blue, James? Obviously."

"Brilliant! Want to sit with me? You know it'd be fun, Lily. Don't deny it," wheedled James.

"I haven't said yes or no yet and you're wheedling me already, arse," I laughed. "But yes, I'll sit with you. I might have to leave early though, it depends on how long the game runs."

"Great, no problem, it's a date then," said James.

I stopped shuffling through my pile of Prefect-ness and looked at James.

"Er," he said, ruffling his hair. "You know, Saturday is a date, the fifteenth day of November. Did you know that on November fifteenth in 1962, the English and Irish Quidditch League had its one-billionth goal? Liverpool's oldest chaser ever scored against Brighton's Keeper. Right, so I'm going to go now. I'll see you around, Lily." James ruffled his hair once more and then sped up the grand staircase, taking them two at a time and just barely remembering to jump the trick step.

"Shut up, Lily!" he called behind him as I giggled.

I sighed and looked back down at the thick pile of parchment in my hands and the mess on the floor. "Remus, you are _so_ on my shit list."

_...._  
Drench yourself in words unspoken  
Live your life with arms wide open  
Today is where your book begins  
The rest is still unwritten  
..... 

A/n: Guys, I am _so_ sorry it's taken me so long to update, there's really no excuse except for me being stupid. Also, I Googled November 15 and it's actually a Saturday in 1980, which is when my characters are 6th years (my timeline's wrong, I know–I did it on purpose). Anyway, I hope you liked and again, sorry for the gross delay! 


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